2021年考研英语二大作文真题与例文批改

考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大，一直是2021年考研英语二备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语二写作冲刺话题，给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文，文中不仅有逐句批注，还附有可复制的考研英语二高分写作模板。

一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of survey the way of doing P.E. exercises at a certain city. Alone doing exercises takes the lead at 54:3%, followed by with friends doing exercises at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as with family doing exercises and the team doing exercises are also considered, accounting for 23.9%, and 15.8%, respectively.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremerdous efforts to build a sound exercises system, enabling people to have ample opportunities for keep health. In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the table is unsuprising.

What about the future trends? I am confident that the proportion of alone doing exercises will steadily increuse in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of the team of doing exercises will continue to remain relatively stable.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：survey

批改：后面缺少介词on

原文：way

批改：要用复数ways

原文：at

批改：搭配城市要用介词 in

原文：Alone doing exercises

批改：语序不当，应该为Doing exercises alone

原文：54:3%

批改：54.3%

原文：with friends doing exercises

批改：语序不当，状语一般放后面，应改为doing exercises with friends

原文：with family doing exercises

批改：同前文，应改为doing exercises with family

原文：team doing exercises

批改：team是名词，应改为 doing exercises in teams

原文：,

批改：多余，应删除

原文： tremerdous

批改：tremendous

原文：keep

批改：要用动名词keeping

原文：table

批改：同第一段，应改为chart

原文：e bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of survey the way of doing P.E. exercises at a certain city. Alone doing exercises takes the lead at 54:3%, followed by with friends doing exercises at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as with family doing exercises and the team doing exercises are also considered, accounting for 23.9%, and 15.8%, respectively.

批改：对图表的描述较为全面，但要注意英文表达的语序

原文：alone doing exercises

批改：同前文，doing exercises alone

原文：increuse

批改：increase

原文：the team of doing exercises

批改：同前文，改为doing exercises in teams

原文：The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremerdous efforts to build a sound exercises system, enabling people to have ample opportunities for keep health. In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the table is unsuprising.

批改：从政府举措和疫情原因分析图表中的现象，注意个别语法问题和模板 使用的灵活性

原文：What about the future trends? I am confident that the proportion of alone doing exercises will steadily increuse in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of the team of doing exercises will continue to remain relatively stable.

批改：表达个人观点，注意英文语序问题

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：9/15

题目要求：对图表内容表述全面，个人观点及论述内容符合题意；

语言表达：全文用了较多的经典句式，但个人发挥的部分有较多的表达问题，如Alone doing exercise，英文中一般要先说动词，再说状语，下次可以注意下；

行文逻辑：第一段描述题干内容，第二段详细论述，第三段表达个人观点，架构完整；

修改建议：改正原文错误；继续多多积累经典句式并活学活用；提升语法水平；提高单词拼写的准确性；

同学要继续多多练习，期待你的进步~

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