本文将启航教育一对一批改过的2021年考研英语二高分范文进行公开呈现。批改老师对文中每一个失分细节进行了精确标注,对照考研英语写作模板热点话题与评分细则,你可以快速了解考研英语写作的提分方向。
一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of a suney on the way of physical exercise of residents in a certain city. Exercising alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercising with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as execising with family members and group activities are also considered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%, respectively.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the saying goes, "On life"s stage, pressure is always present. "Nowadays, residents are compelled to confront immense life pressure, and as a result, doingphysical exercise alone has emerged as their significant choise for utilizing leisure time. In addition, exercise is a way of healing through solitude. It can help relieve stress and sort out emotions by allowing oneself to be alone, thus avoiding the additional strain caused by social interactions. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising. What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and trathfully reflect the choise of residents, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:he bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of a suney on the way of physical exercise of residents in a certain city.
批改:“suney”拼写错误,应为“survey”。
原文:Exercising alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercising with friends at 47.7%.
批改:此句清晰地阐述了图表中两种主要锻炼方式及其占比,表达准确。
原文:Additionally, factors such as execising with family members and group activities are also considered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%, respectively.
批改:“execising”拼写错误,应为“exercising”。
原文:The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.
批改:此句起到承上启下的作用,引出下文对现象原因的分析,过渡自然。
原文:To start with, as the saying goes, "On life"s stage, pressure is always present. "
批改:引用俗语来引出居民面临压力这一观点,为后文分析原因做铺垫,使用恰当。
原文:Nowadays, residents are compelled to confront immense life pressure, and as a result, doingphysical exercise alone has emerged as their significant choise for utilizing leisure time.
批改:进一步阐述居民面临压力,进而说明独自锻炼成为他们利用闲暇时间的重要选择,逻辑清晰,但“choise”拼写错误,应为“choice”。
原文:In addition, exercise is a way of healing through solitude.
批改:提出锻炼是通过独处治愈的一种方式,为后文说明独自锻炼能缓解压力做铺垫,表达合理。
原文:It can help relieve stress and sort out emotions by allowing oneself to be alone, thus avoiding the additional strain caused by social interactions.
批改:详细说明了独自锻炼能缓解压力、整理情绪以及避免社交带来的额外压力,逻辑连贯。
原文:Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:总结前文原因,得出图表中现象不足为奇的结论,逻辑合理。
原文:What about future trends?
批改:此句引出对未来趋势的探讨,起到过渡作用。
原文: I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and trathfully reflect the choise of residents, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
批改:表达了对统计数据准确性的信心,认为其反映了居民选择和时代变化且未来可能保持稳定,但“trathfully”和“choise”拼写错误,应为“truthfully”和“choice”。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:10/15
题目要求:文章开头清晰地对图表内容进行了呈现,阐述了某城市居民不同体育锻炼方式的占比情况,完成了图表解读的任务。在后续内容中,分析了出现这种现象的原因,并对未来趋势进行了探讨,给出了自己的评论,整体上围绕题目要求展开写作。
语言表达:整体语句表达较为流畅,没有明显的语病和严重的语法错误,能够较为顺畅地理解想要表达的意思。例如在阐述原因和评论未来趋势时,句子之间的衔接较为自然。
内容层面:在分析居民选择不同锻炼方式的原因时,能够结合现实生活,提出居民面临生活压力,独自锻炼成为利用闲暇时间的重要选择,以及锻炼能通过独处缓解压力等观点,具有一定的合理性。
修改建议:认真检查文章中的词汇拼写错误,确保每个单词的拼写准确无误,提高语言的准确性。
读懂范文只是第一步,写出高分作文才是关键。启航教育提供考研英语作文免费批改服务,由资深讲师逐句点评,让你清晰掌握考研英语写作模板写作锦囊的核心要点。2027考研英语备考,从一篇专业批改开始。
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