思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向,本文呈现的2013年考研英语二批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面,逐段展示了一篇考研英语作文真题范文高分范文的诞生过程。
一、2013年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2013年考研英语二大作文批改例文
What a vivid column chart above!The chart describes a far reaching phenomenon.The propotion of taking part time job students has achieved more over 60 percent during the whole university campus life and the ratio is raising actively,especially the senior students,which is boosted to 88 percent.
This statistic serves to remind us of the significance about doing the part time job.Our society has entered the new era,the students of university follow the trend.First and foremost,after struggling with the tradditional education system,our students lack the pratical experience in an embarassing situation.Taking part time job benefits students from cultivating their capacities.Furthermore,this can fulfill the fund which releases the pressure of living cost raising.Students can transfer the fund into other realms,this brings a satisfied life.In the end, this can be seemed as the part of the pratical training.The students will become easier to get along with the job before the graduation.
To put all into a nutshell,I strongly support the significance of doing the part tiime job.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:chart
批改:缺少主语,后面要加 it is
原文:far
批改:后面要加连字符
原文:propotion
批改:proportion
原文:achieved more over
批改:表达有误,表示超过可以用exceeded
原文:raising
批改:这里要用不及物动词rising
原文:boosted
批改:用主动语态即可,应改为reaching
原文:during the whole university campus life
批改:这里的表述 不太符合图表,按图标来看,应该是大一期间
原文:What a vivid column chart above!The chart describes a far reaching phenomenon.The propotion of taking part time job students has achieved more over 60 percent during the whole university campus life and the ratio is raising actively,especially the senior students,which is boosted to 88 percent.
批改:对于图表的描述可以更准确一点,另外要注意语法问题
原文:about
批改:介词要用of
原文:the
批改:这里两句话,中间要用连词 and连接
原文: tradditional
批改:traditional
原文:pratical
批改:practical
原文:embarassing
批改:embarrassing
原文:from
批改:这里表达的是通过...让学生受益,介词应该用by
原文:fulfill
批改:fulfill一般表示满足,这里建议改为supplement补充
原文:fund
批改:后面要加逗号
原文:living cost raising
批改:语序有误,应改为raising living cost
原文:satisfied
批改:修饰生活应该用satisfying
原文:this
批改:这里是两句,前面要加连词and
原文:seemed
批改:seen
原文:pratical
批改:practical
原文:get along with
批改:表达有误,适应工作可以用adapt to
原文:tiime
批改:time
原文:This statistic serves to remind us of the significance about doing the part time job.Our society has entered the new era,the students of university follow the trend.First and foremost,after struggling with the tradditional education system,our students lack the pratical experience in an embarassing situation.Taking part time job benefits students from cultivating their capacities.Furthermore,this can fulfill the fund which releases the pressure of living cost raising.Students can transfer the fund into other realms,this brings a satisfied life.In the end, this can be seemed as the part of the pratical training.The students will become easier to get along with the job before the graduation.
批改:分条阐释图表中的现象,注意语法问题
原文:To put all into a nutshell,I strongly support the significance of doing the part tiime job.
批改:总结上文,表达观点,这句和第二段第一句有点重复了,建议选一句调整下
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:6
题目要求:对漫画内容描绘不够准确,可以再优化下;个人观点及论述内容符合题意;
语言表达:全文用了一些经典句式,但语法错误和拼写错误也较多,导致内容表达上不够流畅清晰,有待提高;
行文逻辑:第一段描述题干内容,第二段表达个人观点并详细论述,第三段呼应上文总结全文,架构完整;
修改建议:改正原文错误;多多积累经典句式;提升语法水平;提高单词拼写的准确性;
同学还有进步的空间,加油啊~
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