正在备考考研英语的你,是否还在为2011年考研英语一大作文的写法犯愁?本文精选一篇高分组同学的批改例文,系统梳理考研英语作文话题的常考话题与写作框架。透过启航教育老师的逐段点评,你能直观感受高分作文的得分诀窍。
一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目
考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there are two tourists, traveling by boating, while throwing the rubbish into the river. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers littering is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. One the one hand, the virtue quality of environmental protection is one that should never lose its luster , as it is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of Chinese people . On the other hand,littering can damage personal image and reputation leading to exclusion and failure in social station .Tragically, although the lack of clear rules ,regulations and behavioral standards might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of enjoyment , have disregarded the virtue of environmental protection .
How can we put an end to the problem of littering ?It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including strengthening the guiding role of the media in public opinion and issuing
related regulations. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to foster the quality of environmental education deliberately .With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
三、考研英语作文批改
批改:加that
原文:As shown in the cartoon, there are two tourists, traveling by boating, while throwing the rubbish into the river. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers littering is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象,并能够直接点明作文的主题。
原文:One
批改:On
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. One the one hand, the virtue quality of environmental protection is one that should never lose its luster , as it is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of Chinese people . On the other hand,littering can damage personal image and reputation leading to exclusion and failure in social station .Tragically, although the lack of clear rules ,regulations and behavioral standards might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of enjoyment , have disregarded the virtue of environmental protection .
批改:该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述,语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子,值得表扬。
原文: can we put an end to the problem of littering ?It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including strengthening the guiding role of the media in public opinion and issuing related regulations. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to foster the quality of environmental education deliberately .With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
批改:能够提出自己的建议,起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:16/20
内容切题,准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面,注意避免拼写错误;句式和语法方面,要注意句子结构的完整连贯;逻辑结构清晰完整,论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子,结构清晰。
修改建议:可以看出作文完成的非常认真,无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰,值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。
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