对于考研英语一而言,2023年大作文常以图画形式呈现。本文精解的这篇图画批改范例,启航教育老师逐句解读图画细节、寓意提炼与评论展开三步走,是考研英语作文万能句型图画作文的经典教学样本。
一、2023年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2023年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe and interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. Write your answer in about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2023年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The line clearly depicts the level of health literacy among residents in our country from 2012 to 2021. In 2012, the percentage of health literacy was 8.80%, but by 2021, the rate had substantially risen to 25.4%.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows . To start with, our government has made tremendous effort to build a sound health system, enabling residents to have good health. In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. consequently, an increasing number of people individuals have started paying more attention to health. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon is unsurprising.
What about further trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflects the choices of residents, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: line clearly depicts the level of health literacy among residents in our country from 2012 to 2021. In 2012, the percentage of health literacy was 8.80%, but by 2021, the rate had substantially risen to 25.4%.
批改:你准确地捕捉并呈现了图表的核心数据,时态使用正确,体现了良好的基础
原文:he line clea
批改:"The line" 指代不够明确,建议改为 "The line chart"。
原文:ore reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows . To start with, our government has made tremendous effort to build a sound health system, enabling residents to have good health. In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. consequently, an increasing number of people individuals have started paying more attention to health. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon is unsurprising.
批改:你从政府行为和公共事件两个维度分析原因,逻辑清晰
原文:t about further trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflects the choices of residents, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
批改:尾段你尝试使用高级表达来升华主题,这一点非常值得肯定
原文:reflects the c
批改:"reflects" 主语是 "figures",为复数,应改为 "reflect"。
原文:ous effort to build a sound health system, enabling residents to have good health. In addition, as we all
批改:"effort" 在这里作为"努力"讲时,通常是可数名词,建议改为 "tremendous efforts"。 "enabling residents to have good health" 表意可以更精准,改为 "improving public access to healthcare" 更能体现医疗系统建设的作用。
原文:consequently, an increasing number of people individuals have started paying more attention to health. Consid
批改:"consequently" 首字母应大写 "Consequently"。 "people individuals" 重复,保留 "individuals" 或 "people" 即可。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11
总评:
你的作文结构完整,逻辑顺畅,并且能运用“a microcosm of the changes in the era”这样地道的表达,显示了你的语言潜力。主要的提升空间在于:1) 语法细节的精确性(如主谓一致、名词单复数);2) 论述深度的挖掘(如原因分析可更具体);3) 结论与数据趋势的紧密呼应。
修改建议
你的作文已经具备了很好的雏形。下一步,建议你在保证结构的同时,专注于“精准”和“深入”。对于精准,你可以在写作后增加一个检查环节,重点排查主谓一致、名词单复数和拼写。对于深入,可以尝试在分析原因时多问一句“然后呢?”,比如政府建设医疗系统,具体带来了哪些便利?这样你的作文内容会更丰满,更有说服力。
考研英语作文万能句型写作提分高效的方式,是让经验丰富的老师亲自批改你的作文。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班,主讲斌哥亲批每一份学员作业,真题作业批改、轻松应对各种复杂题目,让考研英语写作更有底。
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