当你坐在考研英语一考场,面对2023年大作文题目的那一瞬间,是否能快速组织起一篇结构清晰、表达地道的高分文章?本文这篇批改例文,正是考研英语一写作技巧话题下的标准范本,适合每一位考研英语备考生反复研读。
一、考研英语一2023年大作文题目
考研英语一2023年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay based on the picture below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2023年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there are old couple talking about the compete and many people seeing the compete. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is sports compete that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, I personally find it beneficial to develop economic, this event will be a meaningful and helpful for countryside. What is more, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction; they also pursue spiritual enjoyment.
In brief, sports compete is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we create a happier life.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:there are old couple
批改:改为 there is an old couple
原文:compete
批改:正确用法为 competition,这里指的是赛龙舟竞赛,正确表达为 dragon boat race
原文:seeing the compete
批改:改为 are watching the race on the bridge
原文:sports compete
批改:画面中通过端午赛龙舟揭示的是要继承、保护和发扬传统文化,因此这里给出的观点可以是 “inheritance/preservation/promotion of traditional Chinese culture”
原文:As shown in the cartoon, there are old couple talking about the compete and many people seeing the compete. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is sports compete that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:描述画面内容可以这么说 In the scene above, a huge number of spectators are watching a dragon boat race on the bridge while there is an elder beside the river, saying to his wife delightedly, "It"s happy to see that the dragon boat race in our village really comes to life.“ 结合画面给出自己的观点 The illustration highlights the importance of the inheritance of traditional Chinese culture.
原文:economic
批改:用名词 economy,但这里 economy 与画面内容无关,可以说 promote traditional culture “宣扬传统文化”
原文:a
批改:删去
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, I personally find it beneficial to develop economic, this event will be a meaningful and helpful for countryside. What is more, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction; they also pursue spiritual enjoyment.
批改:该段未能结合观点具体论述,缺乏说服力,可以先从个人和社会的角度明确继承传统文化的作用,中间可以举出例子支撑,如 For one thing, inheriting traditional Chinese culture is of paramount importance to individuals in enriching their spiritual lives and strengthening family bonds, for instance, in Mid-Autumn Festival, we reunite with our family, have mooncakes and enjoy the view of full moon together. Thus, enjoying the traditional festival and engaging in cultual events are good ways to inherit and promote our traditional culture. For another, inheriting traditional Chinese culture makes a huge difference to social stability and cohesion, strongly fostering citizens" confidence towards our culture and positively influencing the international community as well.
原文:sports compete
批改:改为 inheriting traditional culture
原文:In brief, sports compete is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we create a happier life.
批改:未能回扣上文观点,但提出了”怎么做“,需要支持和倡导继承与发展优秀传统文化。文章总体按照”是什么-为什么-怎么做“的逻辑展开,内容结构较为完整,支持和倡导继承与发展优秀传统文化
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:10/20
1)内容上:描述了画面内容,观点可以更切题;
2)语言上:用词可以更丰富,多灵活转换表达;
3)结构上:运用了逻辑连词,但论述可以更到位;
4)学习建议:
1.主干部分可以围绕个人、社会和国家等角度分析,可按照如下行文逻辑:
-个人可以从文化继承、保护与发展(inheritance, preservation and promotion of traditional culture)的角度展开,如学习传统习俗能增强我们的文化认同感、举办传统节日及相关活动能给予我们良好的文化艺术熏陶、践行尊老爱幼等优秀传统美德有助于培养良好的品质等;
-社会和国家层面可以从文化自觉、文化自信的角度展开,如传统文化活动有助于调动人们的参与积极性,从而加强社群凝聚力、促进建设文明和谐的社会氛围,有利于增强综合国力,提升我国的国际影响力和竞争力。
2.论述过程中可以采用正反对比、举例子、引用等方法,如可以从文化遗产(cultural heritage)、传统节日(traditional festivals)和传统文化活动(traditional cultural events)等方面举出具体例子;
3.结尾可以从“如何促进传统文化的继承与发展”提出一些建议或举措,如结合快速发展的技术,在节日期间可以举办线上分享活动,线下互动答题(online and offline activities),拓展传统节日的形式。
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