2024年考研英语一大作文属于典型的图表作文,要求考生准确描述数据变化并深入解读现象。本文精解的这篇柱状图批改范例,完整覆盖考研英语一大作文常考图表的描述思路,是考研英语图表类作文的标杆范例。
一、考研英语一2024年大作文题目
考研英语一2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the picture and the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture and the chart briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2024年大作文批改例文
In the left cartoon, there have people running the park and the park located in home side. In the right chart, the chart expression the number of park in this city. The number of park increasing every year. Evidently, the cartoon and chart intends to convey to readers that it is city park that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people no longer content with mere marterial satisfaction; they also pursue health lifestyle. What is more, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to establish the city park, which serve as a mean of protecting and helping our health lifestyle.
In brief, city park is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:here have people running the park and the park located in home side. In the right chart, the chart expression the number of park in this city. The number of park increasing every year. Evidently, the cart
批改:there have people-> there are people (正确的 "there be" 句型) the park located in home side-> the park is located near their homes (语法结构) the chart expression-> the chart expresses (词性错误,应用动词) The number of park increasing-> The number of parks is increasing (句子不完整,缺少谓语动词) the cartoon and chart intends-> the cartoon and chart intend (主谓一致,主语为复数)
原文:e left cartoon, there have people running the park and the park located in home side. In the right chart, the chart expression the number of park in this city. The number of park increasing every year. Evidently, the cartoon and chart intends to convey to readers that it is city park that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives an
批改: 第一段成功地将图片和图表信息结合了起来,结构很好
原文:marterial satisfaction; they also pursue health lifestyle. What is more, as the conductor orchestrating t
批改:marterial-> material (拼写错误) health lifestyle-> healthy lifestyle (词性错误,应用形容词) serve as a mean-> serve as a means (固定搭配)
原文:ificant. First and foremost, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people no longer content with mere marterial satisfaction; they also pursue health lifestyle. What is more, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to establish the city park, which serve as a mean of protecting and helping our health lifestyle.
批改:本段从社会发展和政府举措两个角度分析原因,思路清晰,论点选择非常贴切。“conductor orchestrating the symphony”的比喻很有文采。可以进一步提升的地方是论证的深度:可以更具体地说明健康生活方式如何直接导致了对公园这类户外设施需求的增加,让论证更扎实。
原文:ity park is
批改:city park is-> city parks are (主谓一致)
原文:f, city park is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit.
批改:结尾段总结了观点,并使用了“catalyst”(催化剂)这样的高级词汇,很好
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:16
你的这篇作文内容完整,结构清晰,较好地完成了试题规定的任务。
你的作文已经具备了良好的框架。下一步的提升可以聚焦在两个方面:
语言的精准度:特别注意拼写、主谓一致和句子结构的完整性。这是清晰、专业表达的基础。
论证的深度:在提出每个原因后,可以再深入一步,具体解释该原因“如何”直接导致现象的发生,让论证更扎实。
读到这里,相信你已经对2024年考研英语一大作文的考研英语一大作文写作逻辑有了深刻把握。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班现已开放报名,立即在线咨询,即可领取考研英语写作高分资料+免费批改名额,让写作冲刺更高效!
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