对于考研英语一而言,2013年大作文常以图画形式呈现。本文精解的这篇图画批改范例,启航教育老师逐句解读图画细节、寓意提炼与评论展开三步走,是考研英语作文万能句型图画作文的经典教学样本。
一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目
考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文
Graphically portrayed in the cartoon is a vivid glimpse into the difficult choices of graduates. As can be seen, there are four roads, such as continuing study and earning money, waiting for graduates to choose.The picture encapsulates a profound message: why the graduates are hesitant when they must make choices for their future.
Taking a holistic view, in an era changed by rapid " social change, the omnipresence of "choice" exposes graduates, almost without exception, to an atmosphere of hesitation and anxiety. What"s more, people are wired to seek a better future. That helps explain why many individuals are stayingput, because they are thinking about how to make the most use of this choice. Ultimately, it"s not an overnight affair to solve the problem and long process concerted efforts are in need! It is advisable for the government to enhance the educational mechanism, thus promoting a well future for the welfare of its citizens.
In a nutshell, what seems the most important is the courage to make a choice. We sincerely believe that the Chinese dream of achieving great rejuvenation will surely be realized by the youth with joint efforts.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:raphically portrayed in the cartoon is a vivid glimpse into the difficult choices of graduates. As can be seen, there are four roads, such as continuing study and earning money, waiting for graduates to choose.The picture encapsulates a profound message: why the graduates are hesitant when they must make choices for their future.
批改:开篇句式多样,避免了千篇一律的“The picture shows...”,非常棒!
原文:rtoon is a vivid glimpse into the difficult choices of graduates. As can be seen, there are four roads
批改:首句点明了“艰难选择”,第二句提到“四条路”,这两句之间的逻辑可以更连贯。可以用一个非限制性定语从句连接,如 “...graduates. As can be seen, there are four paths ahead of them, such as...”。
原文:king a holistic view, in an era changed by rapid " social change, the omnipresence of "choice" exposes graduates, almost without exception, to an atmosphere of hesitation and anxiety. What"s more, people are wired to seek a better future. That helps explain why many individuals are stayingput, because they are thinking about how to make the most use of this choice. Ultimately, it"s not an overnight affair to solve the problem and long process concerted efforts are in need! It is advisable for the government to enhance the educational mechanism, thus promoting a well future for the welfare of its citizens.
批改:本段成功从社会变革和人性本能的角度分析了选择困境的原因,并提出了解决方向,思路很好。“omnipresence”和“wired to seek”等表达很出彩
原文:ged by rapid " social chan
批改:“changed by rapid social change” 中,“changed”与“change”语义重复,可以调整为 “an era characterized by rapid social change”。“stayingput” 应分开为 “staying put”。
原文: nutshell, what seems the most important is the courage to make a choice. We sincerely believe that the Chinese dream of achieving great rejuvenation will surely be realized by the youth with joint efforts.
批改:结尾段总结全文,并升华到个人勇气与国家梦想,立意很高。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15
你的作文内容切题,结构完整,并成功使用了丰富的语法结构和高级词汇。主要的提升空间在于论述的集中度、逻辑的衔接以及部分表达的精准性。
总评与建议:
同学,你这篇作文最让老师欣赏的是你开阔的视野和地道的语言风格。你不仅能分析社会现象,还能将个人选择与国家命运相联系,这体现了很强的思辨能力。使用“omnipresence”、“wired to”等词汇也显示了你的功底。
当前,我们可以集中精力提升论述的集中度与逻辑的流畅性。你的思维很活跃,点子很多,这很棒!下一步是学习如何让这些好点子更好地为同一个核心论点服务。我的核心建议是:
紧扣核心论点:在写作时,始终记住你的中心论点(如:毕业生因社会压力与追求最优解而犹豫)。确保每一段的分析都紧密围绕这个核心展开,避免突然引入距离较远的新信息。
优化段落功能:可以尝试让每个段落集中完成一个任务(如:第一段描述+引出论点;第二段深入分析原因;第三段探讨解决方案或总结升华),这样文章脉络会更清晰。
强化因果链条:在提出像“政府改善教育机制”这样的解决方案时,可以用一两句话简要解释它如何能帮助毕业生减少犹豫、做出更好选择,从而增强说服力。
考研英语作文万能句型写作提分高效的方式,是让经验丰富的老师亲自批改你的作文。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班,主讲斌哥亲批每一份学员作业,真题作业批改、轻松应对各种复杂题目,让考研英语写作更有底。
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