考研英语一2013年大作文失分点批改

2013年考研英语一大作文是考研英语作文模板备考清单中的必练题型。本文带来的高分批改范例，配套启航教育老师的逐句批注与预测话题标签，适合考研英语考生在冲刺阶段精读精练，是一套完整的写作提升资料。

一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目

考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, a number of graduates are facing to make a choice, such as looking for jobs and starting a bussiness. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey that it is making great choices that play a significant role both in our lives and society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly sinificant. First and foremost, looking for a great job can boost creativity, promote personal goal, and self-fulfillment, rather than being full of pressure. What is more, starting a bussiness exceptional significant of our country, as it plays an important role in boosting overall national strength.

In brief, making great choices is the catalyst for and personal development, from which we will stand to benefit. In addition, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing this can we develop a greater society.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：As shown in the cartoon, a number of graduates are facing to make a choice, such as looking for jobs and starting a bussiness.

批改：此句想描述漫画中毕业生面临选择的场景，但存在语法错误。“facing to make a choice”表述错误，“face”作为及物动词，直接接宾语，应改为“facing a choice”；“bussiness”拼写错误，正确的是“business”。

原文：Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey that it is making great choices that play a significant role both in our lives and society.

批改：此句解读漫画意图，使用了强调句型“it is...that...”，结构基本正确

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly sinificant.

批改：此句起到承上启下作用，引出下文对现象的分析，但“sinificant”拼写错误，应为“significant”。

原文：First and foremost, looking for a great job can boost creativity, promote personal goal, and self-fulfillment, rather than being full of pressure.

批改：此句阐述找工作的好处，但存在语法和搭配问题。“promote personal goal”表述错误，“promote”一般与抽象名词搭配，可改为“achieve personal goals”；“self - fulfillment”前缺少谓语动词，应改为“achieve self - fulfillment”

原文：What is more, starting a bussiness exceptional significant of our country, as it plays an important role in boosting overall national strength.

批改：此句想说明创业对国家的重要性，但存在多处错误。“starting a bussiness”拼写错误，应为“starting a business”；“exceptional significant”表述错误，应改为“exceptionally significant”；“significant of our country”搭配错误，应改为“significant to our country”。

原文：In brief, making great choices is the catalyst for and personal development, from which we will stand to benefit.

批改：“the catalyst for and personal development”表述混乱，应改为“the catalyst for personal development”。

原文： In addition, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing this can we develop a greater society.

批改：此句提出建议并强调其重要性，表达基本正确

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：13/20

题目要求：作文基本完成了题目要求的三个关键任务。在描述漫画方面，提及了漫画中毕业生面临找工作和创业等选择这一核心内容。在解读意图上，能指出漫画意在表明做出重大选择对生活和社会有重要意义。在给出评论方面，提出要支持这种积极选择以构建更好社会。

语言表达：部分词汇使用较为恰当，如“boost creativity”（激发创造力）、“boost overall national strength”（提升国家综合实力）等，体现了一定的词汇积累。同时，使用了“First and foremost”“What is more”“In brief”“In addition”等衔接词，使文章在结构上有一定的连贯性。

内容层面：能够围绕漫画主题展开论述，从个人和社会两个角度分析做出选择的意义，有一定的逻辑性。在阐述找工作和创业的好处时，分别从个人发展和国家发展方面进行说明，使内容有一定的层次感。

修改建议：仔细检查文章中的拼写和语法错误，逐一进行修正，确保语言的准确性。例如将“facing to make a choice”改为“facing a choice”，“promote personal goal”改为“achieve personal goals”等。

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