考研英语一2016年大作文真题与例文批改

考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大，一直是2016年考研英语一备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语一作文模板话题，给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文，文中不仅有逐句批注，还附有可复制的考研英语一高分写作模板。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father telling his son that he should study hard while watching TV. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, the father and his son are working hard at their study together.Below the cartoons, it is said: Instead of just making demands, it"s better to set an example. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is the role model that can exert a great influence both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, an active role model can ignite our motivation and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful. What"s more, a negative role model is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in the future society, and also significantly affecting their competitiveness.

Therefore, the role model, which is a pervasive social phenomenon, is a double-edged sword that can have a profoundly positive or negative influence on the development of young people. When facing this phenomenon, we need to extract its essence while eliminating its drawbacks, and develop ways to maximize the positive impact and effectively mitigate or alleviate the negative aspects.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father telling his son that he should study hard while watching TV. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, the father and his son are working hard at their study together.Below the cartoons, it is said: Instead of just making demands, it"s better to set an example. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is the role model that can exert a great influence both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, an active role model can ignite our motivation and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful. What"s more, a negative role model is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in the future society, and also significantly affecting their competitiveness.

批改：能够通过正反两方面进行论述来突出论点，能够运用逻辑关系词，使得句子之间衔接较为连贯。

原文：Therefore, the role model, which is a pervasive social phenomenon, is a double-edged sword that can have a profoundly positive or negative influence on the development of young people. When facing this phenomenon, we need to extract its essence while eliminating its drawbacks, and develop ways to maximize the positive impact and effectively mitigate or alleviate the negative aspects.

批改：能够提出自己的建议，起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：19/20

内容切题，全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，无拼写错误；句式方面，句子结构完整连贯；语法方面，语法基础较好。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬，继续加油。

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