考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大,一直是2024年考研英语二备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语二作文真题话题,给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文,文中不仅有逐句批注,还附有可复制的考研英语二高分写作模板。
一、2024年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the chart below. In your essay, you should1) describe and interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. Write your answer in about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2024年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the maingains from Labor courses at a certain university. Learning relevant knowledge takes the lead at 91%, followed by enhancing practical skills at 84.8%. Additionally, factors such as feeling relieved and boosting teamwork ability are also considered, accounting for 54.4% and 32.6%, respectively.
The core reason for the observed phnomenon can be summerized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our university has made tremendous efforts to build a series of practical courses, enabling university students to have ample opportunities for practical skills and relevant knowledge. In addition, an increasing number of the young people believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges, and chances, improving practical skills is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the above figures accurately and truthfully reflect university students" gains from practical courses, serving as a microcssm of the changes in the era, are will likely remain relatively stable following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:r chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the maingains from Labor courses at a certain university. Learning relevant knowledge takes the lead at 91%, followed by enhancing practical skills at 84.8%. Additionally, factors such as feeling relieved and boosting teamwork ability are also considered, accounting for 54.4% and 32.6%, respectively.
批改:开篇段成功提取了图表中的核心数据,要点齐全。使用“takes the lead”, “followed by”, “accounting for”等地道的数据描述短语,让表述非常专业。数据引述也很准确。
原文:he maingai
批改:the maingains:这里应该是两个词 the main gains。
原文:he core reason for the observed phnomenon can be summerized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our university has made tremendous efforts to build a series of practical courses, enabling university students to have ample opportunities for practical skills and relevant knowledge. In addition, an increasing number of the young people believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges, and chances, improving practical skills is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:论证段是你文章的亮点!从“学校课程建设”和“学生自身认知”两个层面展开论证,逻辑清晰合理。特别是“conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes”这个比喻,用得十分精彩,为文章增色不少。
原文: phnomenon can be summerized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of
批改:phnomenon:拼写错误,正确拼写是 phenomenon。 summerized:拼写错误,正确拼写是 summarized。 an increasing number of the young people:定冠词“the”在这里是多余的,直接使用 an increasing number of young people 或 the youth 会更地道。
原文:ut future trends? I am confident that the above figures accurately and truthfully reflect university students" gains from practical courses, serving as a microcssm of the changes in the era, are will likely remain relatively stable following decades.
批改:结尾段通过设问自然引出,并对未来趋势做出了判断。将数据上升为“时代的缩影”,成功提升了文章立意,这一点做得非常棒!
原文: microcssm of the changes in the era, are will likely remain relatively stable following de
批改:microcssm:拼写错误,正确拼写是 microcosm。 ...in the era, are will likely remain...:这里出现了语法结构混杂。可以有两种修改方式:一是去掉“are”,保留“will”;二是将“are”改为“and”,即 ..., and will likely remain...。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:12
内容要点: 你完整且准确地覆盖了所有内容要点。
语法与词汇: 你成功运用了丰富的语法结构和高级词汇(如“orchestrating the symphony", "a microcosm of the era")。
语言准确性: 文章流畅有力,存在少数几处拼写和语法结构可以优化。
连贯与衔接: 段落层次清晰,有效地使用了“To start with", "In addition”等衔接手法。
格式与语域: 格式正确,语域非常得体。
总体修改建议:
同学,你这篇作文最值得称赞的地方在于清晰的逻辑和地道的句式。你不仅框架搭得好,内容填充得也很有质量,特别是那个精彩的比喻句,显示了你的语言积累。
现阶段,我们可以将提升的重点放在 “语言的精准度” 上。你已经有很好的意识去写长句和复杂句,接下来可以多关注:
基础拼写:如“phenomenon", "summarized", "microcosm”等高频词汇。建议把常见的易错词整理一下,多写几遍。
句子结构的严谨性:写完后快速检查一下,确保没有出现多个谓语动词混杂的情况。
如果你也想让自己的考研英语二作文拿到理想分数,可以将本文的范文与老师批注作为标杆反复研读。同时,启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班已正式启动报名,在线咨询可获考研英语二作文真题高分资料礼包。
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