据启航教育英语教研组统计,考研英语写作模板话题连续多年成为考研英语二大作文的高频考点。本文带来的2014年考研英语二批改例文中,考生通过对社会热点的精准分析与地道表达,获得高分,其写作思路可供2027考研英语二考生直接借鉴。
一、2014年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2014年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.
二、2014年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts the change of urban people and rural people in china in the past twenty years .In1990, the numberof urban people was 300, but 2010 , this figure had gradually risen to 666. In contrast, the number of rural people experienced a slow decline of 160 from 1990 to 2010.
The core reasons for the observed
phenomenon can be summarized as
follows. To shart with , As the conductor
orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to drive economic growth and elevate the purchasing power of the populace, allowing them to go to city. In addition,In the wake of the high -speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfectin they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. This explains why an increasing number of people choose go to city.Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confiden that the proportion of urban people is a clear sign of social improvement and will steadily increase in the following decades. In contras t, the proportion of rural people will likely continue to remain relatively stable.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:n china
批改:拼写错误:国家名 China 首字母必须大写。
原文:he numberof urban
批改:numberof 应分开为 number of。 关键错误:数据 300 和 666 后必须加上单位 million (百万)。
原文: a slow declin
批改:二十年减少1.6亿人口不应是“缓慢的”,而是 significant (显著的)。 160 后缺少单位 million。
原文:twenty years .In1990, the numberof urban people was 300, but 2010 , this figure had gradually risen to 666. In contrast, the number of rural people experienced a slow decline of 160 from 1990 to 2010.
批改:本段成功抓住了核心趋势,但数据的规范呈现仍是主要失分点。务必确保单位完整,并选用准确的形容词来描述变化幅度。
原文:shart with , As the cond
批改:shart 应为 start。 As the conductor orchestrating... 这个比喻过于文学化,建议删除。 As 不应大写。
原文:allowing them
批改:shart 应为 start。 As the conductor orchestrating... 这个比喻过于文学化,建议删除。 As 不应大写。
原文:material satisfectin
批改:satisfectin 应为 satisfaction。 这是一个串句错误,两个完整句子间只有空格,没有标点或连接词。 “追求精神享受”和“移居城市”之间的逻辑关联不够直接。
原文:oose go to
批改:语法错误:choose 后应接 to go。
原文:estrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to drive economic growth and elevate the purchasing power of the populace, allowing them to go to city. In addition,In the wake of the high -speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfectin they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. This explains why an increasing number of people choose go to city.Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:本段的论点方向(经济发展、城市吸引力)是正确的,但初始的论证未能建立强因果关系。修改后,将迁移原因直接与城市的就业机会和文化设施挂钩,使论证更具体、更可信。
原文:onfiden th
批改:拼写错误:confiden 应为 confident。
原文:l people will likely continue to rem
批改:用词不当 & 逻辑矛盾: 全文均在讨论人口数量 (number) 的变化,此处突然改用 proportion (比例) 不合适,应保持一致性,使用 the urban population 和 the rural population。 a clear sign of social improvement (社会进步的清晰标志),这一价值判断过于绝对化,可能忽略城市化带来的挑战。 will likely continue to remain relatively stable:continue to remain 语义重复,且预测农村人口“保持稳定”与前文描述的“显著下降”趋势矛盾。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:9分
总体修改建议
永远记得为数据加上单位,这是图表描述的基石。
建立直接、具体的因果关系:确保每个原因都能直接、合理地解释人口迁移现象,避免空泛或跳跃的论证。
保持客观与一致:结论应基于数据,避免主观价值判断,并确保术语和趋势预测全文一致。
最后的检查:通读全文,重点检查拼写和基础语法,这类错误最容易避免,也最影响成绩。
复习考研英语大作文,务必要重视范文精读+专业批改的双向结合。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班,专为冲刺阶段考生打造,从话题预测到写作模板一应俱全,是考研英语写作模板写作提分的可靠方案。
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