2021年考研英语二大作文失分点批改

2021年考研英语二大作文是启航考研英语备考清单中的必练题型。本文带来的高分批改范例，配套启航教育老师的逐句批注与预测话题标签，适合考研英语考生在冲刺阶段精读精练，是一套完整的写作提升资料。

一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of a survey on the physical exercise mode of residents in a city. Alone exercise takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as with family, group activities are also considered, accounting for 23.8%, and 15.8%, respectively.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals has started paying more attention to health. In addition, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society people"s ways of exercise have undergone significant changes, people pay more attention to exercising alone. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of people pay attention to privacy, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：a survey on the physical exercise mode of residents

批改：简化一下 physical exercise modes among the residents in a certain city

原文： Alone exercise

批改：动名词Exercising alone

原文：with

批改：Exercising with

原文： with

批改：Exercising

原文：The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of a survey on the physical exercise mode of residents in a city. Alone exercise takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as with family, group activities are also considered, accounting for 23.8%, and 15.8%, respectively.

批改：内容对，作用动名词用法

原文： as

批改：前面加个逗号

原文：The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals has started paying more attention to health. In addition, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society people"s ways of exercise have undergone significant changes, people pay more attention to exercising alone. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

批改：说服力不强，人们开始注重健康，后面直接跳到人们更加关注独自锻炼，中间没有过度，也没说明原因，很突兀

原文：society

批改：后面加个逗号

原文：,

批改：句号，分号或者and并列

原文： privacy

批改：不符合主题，怎么变成隐私了

原文：What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of people pay attention to privacy, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

批改：privacy的出现不恰当

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：10/15分。

1. 题目要求：作文内容包含全面，层次分明，主题紧扣锻炼方式来写；

2. 语言表达：运用复杂的语法结构和高级词汇，定语从句，非谓语结构和宾语从句句型很棒；

3. 行文逻辑：采用恰当的衔接手法，行文流畅，内容连贯；

4. 建议：要深刻吃透老师的模板，使用自己的语言，灵活运用在各类题目中，进一步丰富自己的语料库和写作思路，加油！

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