考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大,一直是2017年考研英语一备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语一作文模板话题,给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文,文中不仅有逐句批注,还附有可复制的考研英语一高分写作模板。
一、考研英语一2017年大作文题目
考研英语一2017年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2017年大作文批改例文
In the left-hand cartoon, the is a boy sitting on the chair and saying" I have so much books !". On the contrany, in the right-hand portrayal, a boy is reading the book and saying"I struggle to read 20 books this year. " Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that practical action is the brush that paints bright future, while only talk not to act is the shackle that hinders our progress.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, in modern society full of changes,chances, and challenges, practical action has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly significant.On the other hand, only talk not to act is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life.
In brief, practical action is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutly aware of the detrimental effects of only talk not to act to ensure our growth stays on course.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: the contrany, in the right-hand portrayal, a boy is reading the book and saying"I struggle to read 20 books this year. " Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that practical action is the brush that paints bright future, while only talk not to act is the shackle that hinders our progress.
批改:开篇描述清晰,对比结构使用得当。核心的比喻句立意很好。
原文: the is a boy
批改:“the is a boy” 是 “there is a boy” 的笔误。“so much books” 搭配错误, “much” 修饰不可数名词, “books” 可数,应用 “so many books”。“On the contrany” 是 “On the contrary” 的拼写错误。
原文:s phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, in modern society full of changes,chances, and challenges, practical action has become a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly significant.On the other hand, only talk not to act is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life.
批改:本段的正反论证逻辑清晰,说理透彻。“heavy chain”的比喻与首段形成了很好的呼应。
原文:its significance has become incr
批改:“its significance has become increasingly significant” 出现词语重复,可以改为 “its importance has become increasingly evident”。同样,将 “only talk not to act” 优化为 “inaction”。
原文:brief, practical action is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutly aware
批改:结尾段总结有力,再次升华主题。“catalyst”(催化剂)和“detrimental effects”(有害影响)这两个高级词汇的使用非常准确。
原文:efit Therefore,
批改:“benefit Therefore” 中间缺少标点,应改为 “benefit. Therefore” 或 “benefit; therefore”。“acutly” 是 “acutely” 的拼写错误。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15
你的作文内容切题,结构严谨,论证充分,并成功使用了高级词汇和复杂句式。主要的提升空间在于拼写的准确性、表达的简洁度和术语的统一性。
总评与建议:
同学,你这篇作文最让老师欣赏的是你严谨的结构和地道的修辞。你不仅能精准地描述漫画对比,还能运用“画笔”、“枷锁”、“催化剂”等一系列精彩的比喻,让说理非常有力,这非常难得!
当前,我们可以集中精力提升语言的绝对准确性和表达的简洁度。你的宏观架构和词汇储备都很棒,现在需要让微观的拼写和用词与之完美匹配。我的核心建议是:
仔细检查拼写:完成初稿后,请务必留出时间快速检查一遍拼写,重点关注像“contrany”, “acutely”这类高频词的拼写。
追求简洁表达:在保证逻辑完整的前提下,审视一下是否有更简洁、地道的词组可以替换冗长的表达(如用inaction替代only talk not to act)。
如果你也想让自己的考研英语一作文拿到理想分数,可以将本文的范文与老师批注作为标杆反复研读。同时,启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班已正式启动报名,在线咨询可获考研英语一作文模板高分资料礼包。
【28考研辅导课程推荐】:28考研集训课程,VIP领学计划,28考研VIP全科定制套餐(公共课VIP+专业课1对1) , 这些课程中都会配有内部讲义以及辅导书和资料,同时会有教研教辅双师模式对大家进行教学以及督学,并配有24小时答疑和模拟测试等,可直接咨询在线客服老师领取大额优惠券。
热门下载
资料下载
院校解析
真题解析
考研数学
考研英语
考研政治
考研备考