考研英语二2016年大作文失分点批改

2016年考研英语二大作文是启航考研英语备考清单中的必练题型。本文带来的高分批改范例，配套启航教育老师的逐句批注与预测话题标签，适合考研英语考生在冲刺阶段精读精练，是一套完整的写作提升资料。

一、考研英语二2016年大作文题目

考研英语二2016年大作文Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.

二、考研英语二2016年大作文批改例文

The pie chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the aims of trips of student in a certain university. Admiring the landscape takes the lead at 37%, followed by releasing the pressure at 33%. Additionally, factors such as making friends, improving the development skills and else are also considered, accounting for 9%, 6% and 15%, respectively.

The core reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of high-speed advancement of society, students are no longer content with mere staying in campus; they also pursue the outside enjoyment. This explains why there are a number of students traveling for admiring the landscape. In addition, as the saying goes, “On life’s stage, pressure is always present.” Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront immense academic pressure, and as a result, having a trip has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of admiring landscape and releasing pressure will steadily increase in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： the aims of trips

批改：改为 various purposes of traveling 更合适

原文：of student

批改：可数名词单数形式不能单独存在，改为 among students

批改：语法正确

原文： improving the development skills

批改：培养独立能力，改为 cultivating independence

原文：else

批改：此处为名词，改为 other purposes

批改：开头段表达不错，清晰地阐述了图表内容

原文：reason

批改：下列有几个原因，此处改为复数 reasons

批改：语法正确

批改：语法正确

批改：内容表达很好，也很具体

批改：语法正确，结尾段表达也不错

原文：pursue the outside enjoyment

批改：“pursue the outside enjoyment” 语法正确但不够地道，可改为 seek enjoyment beyond it

原文：mere staying in campus

批改："staying"是动名词，但"mere"作为形容词直接修饰动名词不太常见，更地道的说法应该是 merely staying on campus

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：11分/ 15分

题目要求：总体上来说是切题的，表明的个人观点与图表的内容是贴合的

语言表达：存在几处语法问题，词汇表达不错，一些句式表达也很好

结构逻辑：文章的结构完整清晰，内容也比较丰富具体

修改建议：语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改，要细心，之后可以多积累素材，自己多练练句子，进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备，提高自己的语言表达，总的来说写的不错，加油！

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