本文将启航教育一对一批改过的2017年考研英语一高分范文进行公开呈现。批改老师对文中每一个失分细节进行了精确标注,对照考研英语写作模板热点话题与评分细则,你可以快速了解考研英语写作的提分方向。
一、考研英语一2017年大作文题目
考研英语一2017年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2017年大作文批改例文
In the left-hand cartoon, there is a boy lying in a sofa and saying that he has so many books. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another boy is sitting in a sofa and says to himself that he will finish 20 books a year. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that being practice is the brush that paints a bright future, while just daydreaming is the shackle that hinders progress.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, being practice can ignite our creativity, nurture our souls, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, daydreaming is not only merely a chronic poison that stifles potential, but also the Achilles" heel of many youth. It silently erodes opportunities while warping the ladder of ascent into a self-destructive slide.
In brief, being practice is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of daydreaming to ensure our growth stays on course.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:being practice
批改:应为 “taking action”(“践行” 更贴合 “读书” 场景,也符合英文表达习惯)
原文:says to himself
批改:应为 “saying to himself”(与前文 “lying...saying” 保持句式统一)
原文:merely
批改:only 和merely 所表示的含义一样,删去merely
原文:practice
批改:“practice” 指代模糊,改为 “this spirit of taking action” 更精准
原文:In the left-hand cartoon, there is a boy lying in a sofa and saying that he has so many books. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another boy is sitting in a sofa and says to himself that he will finish 20 books a year. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that being practice is the brush that paints a bright future, while just daydreaming is the shackle that hinders progress.
批改:描述图片内容,符合题目要求
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, being practice can ignite our creativity, nurture our souls, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, daydreaming is not only merely a chronic poison that stifles potential, but also the Achilles" heel of many youth. It silently erodes opportunities while warping the ladder of ascent into a self-destructive slide
批改:使用了表示逻辑关系的连接词,条理清晰
原文:In brief, being practice is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of daydreaming to ensure our growth stays on course.
批改:结尾提出倡议,升华主题
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15
这篇漫画分析文,精准捕捉 “实干(践行)vs 空想” 的核心对比,搭建了完整框架,逻辑连贯且观点鲜明,比喻(如 “画笔”“枷锁”)生动,能清晰传递 “践行比空想更重要” 的核心思想。但存在语法表达错误,注意细节上的一些小问题,写完整体检查一遍。希望继续努力,加油!
读懂范文只是第一步,写出高分作文才是关键。启航教育提供考研英语作文免费批改服务,由资深讲师逐句点评,让你清晰掌握考研英语写作模板写作锦囊的核心要点。2027考研英语备考,从一篇专业批改开始。
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