正在备考考研英语的你,是否还在为2015年考研英语二大作文的写法犯愁?本文精选一篇高分组同学的批改例文,系统梳理考研英语作文话题的常考话题与写作框架。透过启航教育老师的逐段点评,你能直观感受高分作文的得分诀窍。
一、2015年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2015年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2015年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The pie clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the consumption during The Spring Festival holiday in a Certain City of Chine. New Year gift takes the lead at 40%, followed by get-together,traffic and rests,accounting for 20%,20% and 20%, respectively.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the work of the high-speed advancement of society, people’s attitudes towards of consumption have a undergone significant changes. This explains why an increasing people choose buy New Year gifts rather than get-together.In addition, against the backdrop of our country’s rapid and dynamic development , the younger generation, particularly those born in the 1990s and 2000s, accustomed to buying gift and have became the primary consumer group. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the table is unsurprising.
What about future trends ? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of youngsters, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively eatable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:e pie cl
批改:用词不完整:Pie 本身是“馅饼”,在学术写作中,图表名称应写完整,即 Pie chart。
原文:n a Certain City of
批改:拼写错误:国家名 China 拼写错误。Certain City 首字母大写不必要,应为 a certain city in China。
原文:ew Year gift
批改:gift 作为可数名词,此处应用复数 gifts。
原文:e pie clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the consumption during The Spring Festival holiday in a Certain City of Chine. New Year gift takes the lead at 40%, followed by get-together,traffic and rests,accounting for 20%,20% and 20%, respectively.
批改:本段成功完成了描述核心数据的任务。主要问题在于术语的完整性、拼写准确性
原文: work of the h
批改:用词错误:固定搭配是 in the wake of (在...之后),意为“随着社会的飞速发展”。in the work of 是错误表达。
原文:titudes towards
批改:towards of 多了 of,应为 attitudes towards consumption。 have a undergone 多了 a,应为 have undergone。 significant changes:change 是可数名词,应用复数,这里正确。
原文:his explains why an in
批改:an increasing people:people 是复数名词,不能与 an 连用。应为 an increasing number of people。 choose buy:动词 choose 后应接带 to 的不定式,即 choose to buy。
原文:e younger generation, pa
批改:句子缺少谓语动词!the younger generation 是主语,后面直接跟了 accustomed to...,这是一个形容词短语,不能作谓语。应在 accustomed 前加 are。 gift 应用复数 gifts。 have became 是错误时态,现在完成时的结构是 have + 过去分词,become 的过去分词是 become,所以是 have become。
原文:n the table
批改:文章开头说是饼状图 (pie chart),这里变成了表格 (table),前后不一致,应改回 chart。
原文:ore reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the work of the high-speed advancement of society, people’s attitudes towards of consumption have a undergone significant changes. This explains why an increasing people choose buy New Year gifts rather than get-together.In addition, against the backdrop of our country’s rapid and dynamic development , the younger generation, particularly those born in the 1990s and 2000s, accustomed to buying gift and have became the primary consumer group. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the table is unsurprising.
批改:本段的论述角度依然很棒!分析消费观念变化和年轻一代的作用,非常切题。但非常可惜,密集的语法错误严重影响了理解,掩盖了内容的亮点。你需要特别注意句子的基本结构(必须有谓语动词) 和一些核心固定搭配。
原文:es of youngsters, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively eatable in
批改:严重拼写错误:eatable 意思是“能吃的”,这里你想表达的显然是 stable (稳定的)。这是一个非常关键的用词错误,完全改变了句意。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:9分
总评:
你的文章框架和核心论点都很有价值,但现在需要让这些优点被准确的语言清晰地呈现出来。
修改建议
准确第一:请把“绝对避免拼写和基础语法错误”作为你下一篇作文的最高目标。在考场上,一个没有错误的简单句,远比一个充满错误的复杂句得分高。
建立“错误清单”:请你把这几篇批改中反复出现的错误(如:gift单复数、have become、in the wake of、an increasing number of等)整理成一个清单,每次写作前看一遍,写作后逐一检查。
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