考研英语作文批改命题趋势越来越关注社会热点与考生思辨能力。本文带来的2011年考研英语二批改范例,透过图表/图画深挖现象背后的本质,由启航教育老师逐段精批,可帮助考生建立稳定的考研英语写作思维框架。
一、2011年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)
二、2011年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts proportion of partly brands market in domestic market from 2008 to 2009. In 2008, the porcentage of chinese brands was approximately 25%, but by 2009, this rate had substantially risen to around 30%. In contrast, the proportion of Japanese brands experienced a significant decline of about 10% during the same period 2008 to 2009. Simultaneously, the percentage of Amercian brands remained stable and steady.
The core reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to drive economic growth and elevate the purchasing power of the populace, allowing them to afford chinese brands rather than experience Japanese brands cars. In addition, against the backdrop of our country"s rapid and dynamic development, the younger generation, particularly those born in the 1990s and 2000s, are accustomed consumer to using domestic brands and have become the primacy group. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that proportion of chinese brands will steadily increase in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of Japanese brands will likely continue to decrease relatively stable.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文: proportion
批改:改为 the proportion
原文: partly
批改:改为 some 或者 certain
原文: market
批改:删去
原文:market
批改:改为 car market
原文:porcentage
批改:percentage
原文: chinese
批改:专有名词实词首字母大写
原文:2008 to 2009
批改:此处为重复表达,删去
批改:开头段表达不错,清晰地阐述了图表内容
原文: reason
批改:下列几个原因,此处为复数 reasons
原文: chinese
批改:首字母大写
原文:brands
批改:改为 cars 更清晰
原文:consumer
批改:删去
原文: primacy
批改:primary
批改:内容表达不错,也比较具体
原文:chinese
批改:首字母大写
原文:Japanese
批改:改为 Japanese and American 将三个品牌表达完整
原文: relatively stable
批改:形容词短语不能修饰动词,删去
批改:结尾段内容预测很合理
原文:brands
批改:此处要用所有格,改为 brands"
原文:experience
批改:改为 consider 更合适
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:10分/ 15分
题目要求:总体上来说是切题的,表明的个人观点与图表的内容是贴合的
语言表达:存在几处语法和拼写问题,词汇表达不错,一些句式表达也很好
结构逻辑:文章的结构完整清晰,内容也比较丰富具体
修改建议:1. 语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改 2. 拼写要细心,之后可以多积累素材,自己多练练句子,进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备,提高自己的语言表达,试着多用自己的话来写,总的来说写的不错,加油!
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