正在备考考研英语的你,是否还在为2021年考研英语二大作文的写法犯愁?本文精选一篇高分组同学的批改例文,系统梳理考研英语作文话题的常考话题与写作框架。透过启航教育老师的逐段点评,你能直观感受高分作文的得分诀窍。
一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the survey about physical exercise ways among residents in a certain city. Doing exercise by oneself takes the lead at 54.3%,followed by doing exercise with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as doing exercise with family members, taking part in group activities are also considered, accounting for 23.9%,15.8%respectively.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the saying goes,"On life "s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, residents are compelled to confront immense work pressure, and as a result, doing exercise with friends and family members has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time.
In addition, the younger generation, particularly those born in the 1990s and 2000s, are accustomed to living alone in the big city and has become the primary doing exercise by oneself group. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choice of residents, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:e chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the survey about physical exercise ways among residents in a certain city. Doing exercise by oneself takes the lead at 54.3%,followed by doing exercise with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as doing exercise with family members, taking part in group activities are also considered, accounting for 23.9%,15.8%respectively.
批改:本段清晰地列出了图表中的各项数据,要点齐全
原文: at 54.3%
批改:54.3%,” 中的百分号建议使用英文格式 “54.3%,”,并且后面要空一格。“15.8%respectively” 中间需要加上逗号和空格,即 “15.8%, respectively”。
原文: core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the saying goes,"On life "s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, residents are compelled to confront immense work pressure, and as a result, doing exercise with friends and family members has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time. In addition, the younger generation, particularly those born in the 1990s and 2000s, are accustomed to living alone in the big city and has become the primary doing exercise by oneself group. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:你从工作压力和代际特征两个角度分析原因,这个思路很好,特别是能联想到年轻一代的独居生活与独自锻炼的关联,很有洞察力。
原文:he younger generation, partic
批改:“the younger generation... are accustomed... and has become...” 存在主谓一致问题。“the younger generation” 作为集合名词,谓语动词通常用单数,应改为 is accustomed 和 has become。
原文:at about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choice of residents, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
批改:结尾段对未来趋势做出了预测,并尝试对数据意义进行升华,这很好。“a microcosm of the changes in the era”这个表达非常出彩
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11
你的作文完成了主要的任务,结构清晰,且有不错的观点输出。主要的提升空间在于语法准确性、逻辑衔接和表达的简洁性。
总评与建议:
同学,你这篇作文最让老师欣赏的是你联系社会现象进行分析的能力。你不仅能描述数据,更能从工作压力和代际特征等角度给出合理解释,这体现了很强的思辨能力,这是非常可贵的优点。
当前,我们可以集中精力提升语言的准确性与逻辑的严谨性。你的宏观思路很好,现在需要让微观的语法和论证与之匹配。我的核心建议是:
巩固语法基础:请特别关注主谓一致和名词单复数等基础语法点。可以通过朗读范文来培养语感。
理清因果链条:在分析原因时,确保你给出的理由能直接且明确地解释图表中的具体现象。可以尝试在心里问自己“这个原因具体解释了哪个数据?”,这样能使分析更聚焦。
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