2021年考研英语二大作文的评分标准严格,对图表描述、主题提炼与观点阐述三大能力均有考查。本文精选的这篇高分批改范例,全程贯彻考研英语二写作冲刺写作锦囊的核心要点,可作为考研英语写作的标杆范文。
一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the different ways of physical training of residents in a certain city. Workout alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercise together with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as exercise together with family, and group activities are also considered, accounting for 23.9%, and 15.8%, respectively.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, against the backdrop of our country’s rapid and dynamic development, the populace are accustomed to living alone and have become the primary life’s way. In addition, as the saying goes, “On life’s stage, pressure is always present.” Nowadays, people are compelled to confront immense work pressure, and as a result, workout alone has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistic figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of residents, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:e bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the different ways of physical training of residents in a certain city. Workout alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercise together with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as exercise together with family, and group activities are also considered, accounting for 23.9%, and 15.8%, respectively.
批改:你对图表数据的概括非常出色,使用了“takes the lead", "followed by", "accounting for...respectively”等一系列专业且地道的表达,数据呈现清晰、有层次。
原文: core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, against the backdrop of our country’s rapid and dynamic development, the populace are accustomed to living alone and have become the primary life’s way. In addition, as the saying goes, “On life’s stage, pressure is always present.” Nowadays, people are compelled to confront immense work pressure, and as a result, workout alone has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:你从“社会发展”和“工作压力”两个维度分析原因,思路正确,并且引用了名言,增加了文采。这是很好的尝试!
原文:e populace
批改:the populace(民众)作为集合名词,谓语动词常用单数 is。 “习惯于独居”是合理的,但“独居”本身(living alone)是一种状态,很难说它“已经成为主要生活方式”。这里想表达的可能是“独处”或“独自活动”。建议修改为:...people have grown accustomed to solitude, which has become a primary mode of living for many. (……人们已经习惯于独处,这已成为许多人的主要生活方式。)
原文:Workout alone takes th
批改:Workout alone takes the lead... 和 ...exercise together with friends... 这里出现了名词不一致的问题。为了保持全文用词统一和名词化,建议将动词“workout”和“exercise”都改为动名词形式作主语:Exercising alone takes the lead... 和 exercising with friends...
原文:at about future trends? I am confident that the above statistic figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of residents, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.
批改:你对未来趋势做出了合理的判断,并且用“a microcosm of the changes in the era”这样凝练的表述进行总结,提升了文章的立意,结尾非常有力
原文:e statistic figures
批改:..the above statistic figures... statistic 是形容词,这里应该用名词复数 statistical figures 或直接简化为 statistics。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:12
你的这篇作文在内容和结构上完成了非常出色的任务:
内容与结构:完整涵盖了数据描述、原因分析和趋势预测,逻辑严谨,结构清晰。
词汇与语法:熟练运用了“against the backdrop of", "dynamic", "microcosm"等高级词汇和复杂句式,语言功底扎实。
衔接与连贯:使用“To start with", "In addition", "Considering these factors"等衔接词,使行文流畅,论证有力。
目前存在的主要是一些细微的语法、用词和逻辑严谨性问题,它们不影响理解,但影响了表达的精准度。
总评与修改建议:
保持术语统一:在写作时,对于核心概念(如“独自锻炼”),一旦确定了一种名词性表达(如Exercising alone),就请在全文贯穿使用,这会使文章显得更专业。
深化逻辑校验:在写完每个句子,尤其是表达抽象概念的句子后,可以停下来问自己一下:“这个主语和谓语搭配是否100%合乎逻辑?有没有更精准的词?” 这个习惯能帮助你将已经很好的文章打磨得无懈可击。
启航教育坚持『专业·敬业·服务好』的理念,深耕考研英语教研多年。本文精解的2021年考研英语二范文仅是冰山一角,更多考研英语二写作冲刺高分资料与免费批改服务,期待与每一位2027考研人在在线咨询中相遇。
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