考研英语一2016年大作文实例分析与批改

备战2016年考研英语大作文，先从研读经典高分范文开始。本文汇集的启航教育批改范文中，不仅有原文、批注，还有词汇注释与亮点解析。准备2027考研的同学，可联系启航教育在线咨询考研英语一写作高分规划。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon,there is a father watching TV and telling his son"study hand-working!".On the contray,in the right-hand portrayal,there is another father sitting at the table and studying with his son.Evdently,the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that great behavior is the brush that paints a bright future,while bad behavior is the shackled that hinders children prograss.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways,but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand,while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated,the spirit of being a good behavior example is one that should never lose its luster,as it is a crucial piece in shaping the admirable character of the Chinese people. On the other hand, bad behavior example is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s prograss, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, good behavior example is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of bad behavior example to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：Evdently

批改： Evidently

原文："study hand-working!".

批改：好好学习是 study hard, 此处改为 …… , "Study hard!" 注意标点使用

原文：shackled

批改：此处为名词，改为 shackle

原文： children

批改：此处为名词所有格，改为 children"s

原文：prograss

批改：progress

批改：开头段表达不错，清晰地阐述了图画内容, 表达的主题和图画也是贴合的

批改：语法正确

原文：the spirit of being a good behavior example

批改：直接写为第一段的主题词即可，改为 good behavior

原文：example

批改：删去

批改：内容表达很好，也很具体

原文：example

批改：删去

原文：example

批改：删去

批改：结尾段内容表达也很好

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：14分/20分

题目要求：总体上来说是切题的，表明了个人观点，和图画的内容很贴合

语言表达：存在几处语法和拼写问题，词汇表达不错，一些句式也很好

结构逻辑：文章的结构完整清晰，内容也比较丰富具体

修改建议：1. 语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改 2. 拼写要细心 3. 全文的主题词要表达一致，表达精确。之后可以多积累素材，自己多练练句子，进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备，提高自己的语言表达，总的来说写的不错，加油！

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