考研英语一2024年大作文实例分析与批改

备战2024年考研英语大作文，先从研读经典高分范文开始。本文汇集的启航教育批改范文中，不仅有原文、批注，还有词汇注释与亮点解析。准备2027考研的同学，可联系启航教育在线咨询考研英语一写作高分规划。

一、考研英语一2024年大作文题目

考研英语一2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the picture and the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture and the chart briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2024年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a man standing in a pard and saying," the park is very nice, which is close to my home." Simultaneously, in the right-hand bar chart, the number of parks was 406, in 2020. But by 2022, this figure had gradually risen to 670.

The core reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction; they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. This explains why an increasing number of parks located in th city. What is more, as the conductor orchestraing the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous effort to build a sound health system, enabling residents to have ample opportunities for healthy body. Considering these factors, the depicted phenome in that chart is unsurprising.

what"s about future trends? I am confident that the number of parks is a clear sign of social improvement and will steadily increase in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： in a pard and saying," the park is very nice, which is close to my home." Simultaneously, in the ri

批改：pard-> park​ (拼写错误) in 2020. But by 2022-> in 2020, but by 2022​ (逗号连接两个分句，But无需大写)

原文：eft-hand cartoon, there is a man standing in a pard and saying," the park is very nice, which is close to my home." Simultaneously, in the right-hand bar chart, the number of parks was 406, in 2020. But by 2022, this figure had gradually risen to 670

批改：第一段成功地将图片和图表信息结合了起来，结构很好

原文：rchestraing the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous effort t

批改：orchestraing-> orchestrating​ (拼写错误) phenome-> phenomenon​ (拼写错误) This explains why an increasing number of parks located in th city.-> 句子结构不完整，可改为：This explains why an increasing number of parks are being built in cities. for healthy body-> for maintaining a healthy body​ (更地道的表达)

原文： reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with mere material satisfaction; they also pursue spiritual enjoyment. This explains why an increasing number of parks located in th city. What is more, as the conductor orchestraing the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous effort to build a sound health system, enabling residents to have ample opportunities for healthy body. Considering these factors, the depicted phenome in that chart is unsurprising.

批改：本段从社会发展和政府举措两个角度分析原因，思路是正确的。可以进一步提升的地方是论证的深度：可以更具体地说明公园如何提供精神享受，以及健全的医疗体系如何通过公园促进居民健康，让论证更扎实。

原文：what"s about f

批改：what"s-> What"s​ (段落首字母大写)

原文：about future trends? I am confident that the number of parks is a clear sign of social improvement and will steadily increase in the following

批改：​ 结尾段对未来趋势做出了预测，这很好

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15

你的这篇作文内容完整，结构清晰，较好地完成了试题规定的任务。

你的作文已经具备了良好的框架。下一步的提升可以聚焦在两个方面：

语言的精准度：特别注意拼写、句子结构的完整性和固定搭配。这是清晰、专业表达的基础。

论证的深度：在提出每个原因后，可以再深入一步，具体解释该原因“如何”直接导致现象的发生，让论证更扎实。

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