本文将启航教育一对一批改过的2023年考研英语一高分范文进行公开呈现。批改老师对文中每一个失分细节进行了精确标注,对照考研英语写作模板热点话题与评分细则,你可以快速了解考研英语写作的提分方向。
一、考研英语一2023年大作文题目
考研英语一2023年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay based on the picture below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2023年大作文批改例文
As shown in the cartoon, there is a man enjoying the drggon competition, while an old woman is saying," the dragon competition is more and more interesting in our village." Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is traditional culture that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking is several ways, but two of them are particularly. First and foremost, comprehending the traditional culture can nurture ous souls, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming what is more, studying the traditional culture holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for shaping national morals, further propelling social stability and sustainable development.
In brief, traditional culture is the catalyst for societa and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively promote and carry forward traditional culture. Only by doing so can we creat a happier life.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:etition is more and more interesting in our village." Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is traditional culture that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and society.
批改:第一段成功地完成了从具体描述到观点提炼的任务,结构清晰
原文:drggon competition, while an old woman is saying," the dragon competition is more and more inter
批改:drggon competition -> dragon boat race (这是“龙舟赛”最地道的英文表达) 引号内句首字母应大写:"The dragon boat race...
原文: is several ways, but two of them are particularly. First and foremost, comprehending the traditional culture can nurture ous souls, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming what is more, studying the tra
批改:is several ways -> in several ways (介词错误) but two of them are particularly. 此句不完整,particularly 是副词,后面应补充 significant 等形容词。建议改为 but two of them are particularly significant. ous souls -> our souls (拼写错误) what is more -> Furthermore 或 Moreover (置于句首,首字母大写。what is more 常用于句中,如 and, what is more, ...) studying 可以优化为 understanding 或 preserving,以避免与第一个论点中的 comprehending 在词义上过于接近,增加用词的多样性
原文:enomenon is thought-provoking is several ways, but two of them are particularly. First and foremost, comprehending the traditional culture can nurture ous souls, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming what is more, studying the traditional culture holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for shaping national morals, further propelling social stability and sustainable development.
批改:段的论证框架是你的强项,逻辑严密,层次分明。通过修正语法和优化用词,你的深刻见解将得到更流畅、更地道的表达。
原文:lture is the catalyst for societa and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we sho
批改:societa -> societal (拼写错误) creat -> create (拼写错误) catalyst (催化剂) 这个词用得极为精准和高级,是全文的亮点!
原文:benefit. Therefore, we should actively promote and carry forward traditional culture. Only by doing so can we creat a happier life.
批改:结尾段非常成功。它简洁有力地总结了观点
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:16
你这篇作文在立意深度、逻辑结构和语言质量上都展现出了极高的水准。你已完全掌握了考研英语高分作文的写作要领。
如果说还有什么可以锦上添花的建议,那便是:
追求极致的严谨:在保持现有思维深度的同时,留出片刻快速检查一下拼写(如 societal, create)和介词等语法细节。确保每一个细节都无懈可击,让你出色的构思拥有最完美的呈现。
读懂范文只是第一步,写出高分作文才是关键。启航教育提供考研英语作文免费批改服务,由资深讲师逐句点评,让你清晰掌握考研英语写作模板写作锦囊的核心要点。2027考研英语备考,从一篇专业批改开始。
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