2016年考研英语一大作文的评分标准严格,对图表描述、主题提炼与观点阐述三大能力均有考查。本文精选的这篇高分批改范例,全程贯彻考研英语一写作技巧写作锦囊的核心要点,可作为考研英语写作的标杆范文。
一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目
考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文
In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father, sitting in a sofa, watching TV, smoking and saying to his son that he must study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another father is studying hard with his son together. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that a good role model is the brush that paints a bright future, which a bad role model is the shackle that hinders progress.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, a good parental role model can ignite child’s creativity, and promote his personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making his life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, a bad parental role model is like a heavy chain that hinders child’s progress, leaving him with a negative outlook on life and preventing him from shining brightly in future society.
In brief, a good role model is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of a bad role model to ensure our growth stays on course.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:which
批改:表达有误,表示对比应该用while
原文:In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father, sitting in a sofa, watching TV, smoking and saying to his son that he must study hard. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, another father is studying hard with his son together. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that a good role model is the brush that paints a bright future, which a bad role model is the shackle that hinders progress.
批改:描述漫画内容,表达个人观点,注意个别语法问题
原文:child’s
批改:这里要用复数所有格children’s
原文:child’s
批改:同前文,应该用children’s
原文:him
批改:这里代指children,应该用them
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, a good parental role model can ignite child’s creativity, and promote his personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making his life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, a bad parental role model is like a heavy chain that hinders child’s progress, leaving him with a negative outlook on life and preventing him from shining brightly in future society.
批改:从正反两面论证好榜样的重要性,注意单复数问题
原文:In brief, a good role model is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this quality; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of a bad role model to ensure our growth stays on course.
批改:呼应论点,再次强调 好榜样的意义,表达通顺
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:17/20
题目要求:对漫画内容描绘全面,个人观点及论述内容符合题意;
语言表达:全文用了一些经典句式,仅有少量语法问题,整体上思路清晰,语言流畅;
行文逻辑:第一段描述题干内容并表达个人观点,第二段给出详细论述,第三段呼应上文总结全文,整体架构完整;
修改建议:改正原文错误;多多积累经典句式;加强单词复习;
整体来说很不错了,继续保持哦~
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