2021年考研英语一大作文实例分析与批改

想在考研英语一大作文中写出有深度的论证段落？本文精解的2021年考研英语一真题范文，从论据选择、过渡句使用到结尾点题都极具参考价值。启航教育考研英语教研组对该篇范文的批注，有助于考生建立完善的写作逻辑。

一、2021年考研英语一大作文题目

考研英语一2021年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the picture below. In your essay, you should1)describe the picture briefly, 2)interpret the implied meaning, and 3)give your comments. Write your answer on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、2021年考研英语一大作文批改例文

As shown in the picture, there is a boy, wearing traditional cloth, and saying "Dad, many classmates think it is boring to learn acting in a Chinese opera." While his father says "If you like it, it"s fine." Evidently, the picture intends to convey that it is hobby that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, hobby can nurture our souls, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. What"s more, in modern society full of chances, and challenges, a unique hobby has become a key quality that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has become increasingly evident.

In brief, hobby is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we make our world shine with renewed brilliance.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：cloth,

批改：cloth 指“布料、织物”，而图中人物穿的是“传统服装”，应使用 clothing 或 costume。costume 特指某个时期或某种文化的服装，在此语境下更为贴切

原文：hobby that plays

批改：此句语法正确，但存在两个问题。一是主旨提炼过于宽泛，将画面中关于“京剧”和“个人兴趣”的具体矛盾，上升为“爱好”这一普遍概念，略显跳跃。二是 hobby 作为可数名词，在此处被用作不可数名词，泛指所有爱好，前面应加冠词 “a” 或改为复数 “hobbies”

原文：" Wh

批改： 这个句子以 While 开头，使其变成了一个从属从句。它必须依附于一个主句才能构成完整的句子。而原文中，它前面是一个句号，后面直接跟了 Evidently...，这使得 While his father... 这个部分成了一个没有主句的“句子片段”，这是语法错误。The son, wearing traditional clothing, expresses that many classmates find Chinese opera boring, while his father offers supportive advice, saying, "If you like it, it"s fine."

原文：ty.

批改：本段完成了图片描述的基本任务，但存在明显的语法硬伤和细节偏差。逻辑上，从描述到主旨的过渡略显生硬，将具体情境（京剧学习）直接拔高到泛泛的“爱好”层面，未能精准捕捉图片“在他人不认同下坚持个人热爱”的核心矛盾。语言表达的准确性有待提高。

原文：obby

批改：同上，应为A hobby、hobby（爱好）不是quality（品质）。应改为pursuing a unique hobby或having a unique hobby

原文：t.

批改：本段试图论证爱好的重要性，但论述内容过于普适化，与第一段描述的特定场景脱节，导致论证缺乏针对性。逻辑上，两个分论点（滋养灵魂、区分卓越）之间跳跃性较大，且未能深入挖掘图片的深层寓意。虽有闪光词汇，但整体论证流于空泛。

原文：hobby

批改：a hobby

原文：nce.

批改：本段完成了 “总结评论 + 升华主题” 的任务，逻辑连贯，结尾有力。但总结升华缺乏具体落地场景，与图画核心寓意关联度低，表述稍显空泛，影响了主题的深度和说服力。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：14/20分

本文结构完整，严格遵循 “描述图画 - 解读寓意 - 给出评论” 的写作框架，全面覆盖题干三大要求，核心任务完成度较高。图画描述简洁准确，语言表达流畅自然，逻辑连贯，具备一定的思想深度。主要问题在于三个方面：首先，存在屡次出现的基础语法错误（如可数名词缺少冠词、句子片段），严重影响了语言的严谨性；其次，对图片寓意的解读流于表面，未能深入挖掘“个人兴趣与外部评价”、“传统文化传承”等核心矛盾，导致论证内容空洞、模板化；最后，段落间的逻辑连贯性不足，尤其是第二段的论述与图片场景关联微弱。尽管文章结构完整并使用了一些高级词汇，但上述问题共同制约了其分数。

参考范文：

As is vividly depicted in the picture, a boy clad in traditional Peking Opera costume turns to his father, expressing his dilemma, "Dad, many classmates think it is boring to learn acting in a Chinese opera." The father"s response is both simple and profound, "If you like it, it"s fine."

This conversation extends far beyond a mere family chat, delivering a powerful message about the significance of upholding inner passion in the face of prevailing social opinions. On one hand, it underscores the value of intrinsic motivation. When genuine interest, rather than peer pressure, guides one"s choice, it fosters true personal fulfillment and resilience. On the other hand, the picture touches upon a profunder theme: the transmission of cultural heritage. The boy"s potential persistence in learning opera, driven by pure love, becomes a microcosm of how traditional arts can be revitalized through individual affection rather than mere obligation.

In my view, the implication of this phenomenon is paramount in our modern society. We should actively advocate for this spirit—the courage to pursue one"s authentic interests. By doing so, we not only nurture more fulfilled individuals but also protect the diverse and vibrant tapestry of our culture, ensuring that invaluable traditions like Peking Opera continue to shine with renewed brilliance for generations to come.

无论你是2026年考生还是备战2027考研英语，精读本文的2021年考研英语一批改范例都能为你的写作带来提升。启航教育的写作主讲与AI智能批改系统全天候待命，为你的考研英语一作文真题冲刺保驾护航。