2011年考研英语二大作文真题与例文批改

启航教育考研英语教研组精心筛选了2011年考研英语二大作文真题原文及高分批改范例。本篇范文中，老师对每一句都给出修改建议，是考研英语二作文真题备考资料库中的精品，特别推荐给参加2027考研的学子。

一、2011年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)

二、2011年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The market share of some brands in the domestic car market from 2008 to 2009.

In 2008, the number of domestic brands was 25%, but by 2009, this number of domestic brands had gradually rise to 30%. In Contrast the number of Amarican brands experienced a decline of 10% during the Same peried 2008 to 2009. Simultaneously, the number of Japenice remaind stable and steady. The core reasons for the abserved phenomenon can be Summarited as follows. To start with, chinese aociety is undergoing a extensive and profound transformation. In my view, the fundamental reson for the phenomenon is the significant progress made by China"s manufacturing industry in responding to these changes. In addtion, as the Conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to improve the quality of domestic cars and reduce their prices, enabling pople choose them more willingly. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising. I am confindent that the number of domestic will steadily increase in the follow decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：The market share of some brands in the domestic car market from 2008 to 2009.

批改：需要完整概括图表内容，可以这样表述 “The bar chart clearly depicts the change of the market shares among Chinese, Japanese and American automobile brands from 2008 to 2009.”

原文：the number of

批改：图中展现的是各品牌的市场份额，可以用 the proportion/percentage of

原文：domestic brands

批改：国产汽车品牌也可以说 Chinese automobile brand

原文：this number of

批改：改为 the proportion/percentage of

原文：rise

批改：rise的过去分词是risen

原文：30%

批改：图中可以看到国产汽车品牌的市场份额从25%增至30%以上，为了更准确地描述图中数据及其变化，可以运用一些小词如 approximately/nearly/around 30%等帮助表述

原文：Contrast

批改：首字母不用大写

原文：the number of

批改：改为 the proportion/percentage of

原文：Amarican

批改：正确写法为 American

原文：experienced a decline of

批改：多储备表变化的名词、动词、形容词、副词或词组在写作过程中会很有帮助，名词包括像 growth/reduction，动词像 increase/drop，副词和动词搭配如 slightly decrease，运用起来让人眼前一亮

原文：Same

批改：首字母不用大写

原文：peried

批改：正确写法为 period

原文：2008 to 2009

批改：删去

原文：In Contrast the number of Amarican brands experienced a decline of 10% during the Same peried 2008 to 2009.

批改：注意下降了10%的是日系品牌，而不是美系品牌

原文：the number of

批改：改为 the proportion/percentage of

原文：Japenice

批改：正确写法为 Japanese automobile brand

原文：remaind

批改：正确写法为 remained

原文：stable and steady

批改：stable和steady意思相近，删去其中一个

原文：Simultaneously, the number of Japenice remaind stable and steady.

批改：保持相对不变的是美系品牌

原文：abserved

批改：正确写法为 observed

原文：Summarited

批改：正确写法为 summarized

原文：chinese aociety

批改：正确写法为 Chinese society

原文：a

批改：改为 an

原文：reson

批改：正确写法为 reason

原文：manufacturing industry

批改：可以说 manufacturing / car manufacturing / automobile industry

原文：addtion

批改：正确写法为 addition

原文：Conductor

批改：首字母不用大写

原文：pople

批改：正确写法为 people

原文：enabling pople choose them more willingly

批改：改为 enabling more people to choose them

原文：confindent

批改：改为 confident

原文：the number of

批改：改为 the proportion/percentage of

原文：domestic

批改：改为 domestic automobiles

原文：follow

批改：改为 following

原文：The market share of some brands in the domestic car market from 2008 to 2009. In 2008, the number of domestic brands was 25%, but by 2009, this number of domestic brands had gradually rise to 30%. In Contrast the number of Amarican brands experienced a decline of 10% during the Same peried 2008 to 2009. Simultaneously, the number of Japenice remaind stable and steady. The core reasons for the abserved phenomenon can be Summarited as follows. To start with, chinese aociety is undergoing a extensive and profound transformation. In my view, the fundamental reson for the phenomenon is the significant progress made by China"s manufacturing industry in responding to these changes. In addtion, as the Conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to improve the quality of domestic cars and reduce their prices, enabling pople choose them more willingly. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising. I am confindent that the number of domestic will steadily increase in the follow decades.

批改：首段需完整准确表述图表内容和数据变化，不要混淆各品牌的发展趋势和走向；主干分析了产生图中现象的原因，从国家和社会两个层面论述，需合理进行段落布局，建议按“是什么（给观点）——为什么（析原因）”的逻辑展开会更清晰；结尾可以合理预测未来各汽车品牌的市场份额将会如何发展变化，用一句话总结“未来国产汽车品牌的市场份额将继续扩大”，还可以对作为市场主体的国产汽车制造商或汽车企业提出展望或“怎么做”的一些建议，如引进更多技术提升产品质量

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：6/15

1）内容上：概括了图表内容，数据及其变化描述还可以更准确；

2）语言上：部分内容表述错误，用词和句型可以更丰富灵活；

3）结构上：需合理分段，论述缺乏条理；

4）学习建议：

有待提升的主要有三方面，一是语言上多积累表变化的动词、表程度的副词和描述最大最小值的一些短语，描述图表会更准确和形象；二是内容上可以从国家-社会-市场/企业-个人等主体展开，按“是什么（给观点）——为什么（析原因）——怎么做（结尾提措施/做法）”的逻辑展开，这样主干各要点更清晰明了；三针对现象-原因型文章，主要分析是什么原因导致该种趋势或现象的发生，写作过程中按各个主体的角度串联论述逻辑会让文章更有条理，如：由于经济发展，综合国力提升（国家）——一方面人们购买力提升（社会），另一方面国产品牌有着自身优势广受欢迎（市场/企业），从而使人们对国产品牌更有信心，尤其是年轻群体（个人偏好）——因此国产汽车品牌份额呈持续上升（总结）——未来将继续大力发展汽车制造业（展望+提措施），还可以结合时事热点和具体的例子进行阐述

考研英语二作文真题写作提分高效的方式，是让经验丰富的老师亲自批改你的作文。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，主讲斌哥亲批每一份学员作业，真题作业批改、轻松应对各种复杂题目，让考研英语写作更有底。