2021年考研英语二大作文实例分析与批改

考研英语写作想要突破20分瓶颈，仅靠背诵远远不够，必须通过范文精读+专业批改双管齐下。本文带来的2021年考研英语二高分批改范例，涵盖考研英语二作文模板高频常考话题，逐句逐段剖析高分背后的逻辑链条。

一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of some ways to exercising of individuals in a city. exercising alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercising with friends at 47.7%. Simultaneously, factors such as exercising with families and team activity are also considered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8% respectively.

The core reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people"s ways of exercising have undergone significant changes. People want to pursue personal improvement rather than social interactive. This explains why an increasing number of indviduals choose exercising alone rather than exercising with others. In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, more and more people have started avoiding to touch or communicate with others, so individuals like to exercise alone. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon is unsurprising

What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of younger generation, which serve as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：he bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of some ways to exercising of individuals in a city. exercising alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercising with friends at 47.7%. Simultaneously, factors such as exercising with families and team activity are also considered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8% respectively.

批改：你准确地抓住了图表中的核心数据，并且使用了“takes the lead", "followed by", "accounting for...respectively”等专业表达，数据呈现清晰，做得很好！

原文：e core reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people"s ways of exercising have undergone significant changes. People want to pursue personal improvement rather than social interactive. This explains why an increasing number of indviduals choose exercising alone rather than exercising with others. In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, more and more people have started avoiding to touch or communicate with others, so individuals like to exercise alone. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon is unsurprising

批改：你从“社会发展”和“新冠疫情”两个维度分析原因，视角独特，论证的格局很大。特别是将新冠疫情作为论据，非常具有时代感。

原文：hat about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of younger generation, which serve as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

批改：你对未来趋势做出了合理的判断，并且用“a microcosm of the changes in the era”这样凝练的表述进行总结，提升了文章的立意，结尾非常有力。

原文：of younger gen

批改：the younger generation。

原文：reason fo

批改：The core reason... 你分析了两个原因，所以这里用复数 reasons 更准确。

原文：of indvidua

批改：individuals 拼写有误，应为 individuals

原文：avoiding to tou

批改：...avoiding to touch or communicate... 动词 avoid 后面需要接动名词（verb+ing），应改为 avoid touching or communicating.

原文： exercis

批改：Exercising alone takes the lead...。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：12

你的这篇作文在内容和结构上完成得非常出色：

内容与结构：完整涵盖了数据描述、原因分析和趋势预测，逻辑链条清晰，结构严谨。

词汇与语法：能够熟练使用“microcosm", "in the wake of", "undergone significant changes”等高级词汇和复杂句式。

衔接与连贯：使用“To start with", "In addition", "Consequently"等衔接词，使行文流畅，论证有力。

目前存在的主要是一些细微的语法、拼写和用词问题，它们不影响理解，但影响了表达的精准度。

总评与修改建议：

同学，你这篇作文最让我欣赏的是论证视角的选取。将个人锻炼习惯与社会发展、全球性公共卫生事件联系起来，说明你不仅在看数据，更在思考数据背后的时代脉搏，这是非常可贵的宏观思维。

我给你的建议是：

建立“动词搭配”意识：请你重点留意几个核心动词的固定搭配，比如 choose to do, avoid doing。在写作时，可以有意识地快速回顾一下。

进行“一致性”检查：在完成全文后，快速检查一下：① 可数名词的单复数以及前面是否有冠词（the younger generation）；② 主谓是否一致（which serves...）

本文展示的2021年考研英语二范文可以提炼为考研英语二作文模板的写作模板灵活复用。启航教育写作教研组归纳了6类常考话题高分模板，均纳入2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班，助你一次掌握考研英语作文的得分密码。