思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向,本文呈现的2019年考研英语二批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面,逐段展示了一篇考研英语写作冲刺高分范文的诞生过程。
一、2019年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2019年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2019年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts the graduations choices in 2013 and 2018 of a university. In 2013, the percentage of looking for a job was 68.1%, but by 2018 this rate has decreased to 60.7%. In contrast, the proportion of further education and starting a business experienced a significant risen of 7.7% and 1.3% respectively during the this period.
The core reasons foe the depicted phenomenon can be summerized as folowes. To start with, as the saying goes, “On life"s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, university students are compelled to immense pressure of looking for a job, and as a result, starting a business and further education has emerged as significant choices. In addition, the young generations believe that in the mordern society full of changes, challenges and chances, further education will be a benefical way for personal improvement. And starting a business is indispensible if you wish to achieve success in the long run. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the perentage of further education and starting a business is a sign of social improvement and will likely to increase in the following decades. Simultaneously, the propartion of looking for a job will likely continue to decrease.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:graduations choices i
批改:“graduations choices” 应为 “graduates" choices”。
原文:2018 this rat
批改:描述2018年数据时,“has decreased” 时态使用不当。因2018年也是过去时间,应用一般过去时 “had decreased” 或 “decreased”。
原文:xperie
批改:experienced a significant risen” 中,“risen” 是动词的过去分词,此处应用名词 “rise” 或 “increase”。
原文:uring the this p
批改:“during the this period” 应删去多余的 “the”。
原文: bar chart clearly depicts the graduations choices in 2013 and 2018 of a university. In 2013, the percentage of looking for a job was 68.1%, but by 2018 this rate has decreased to 60.7%. In contrast, the proportion of further education and starting a business experienced a significant risen of 7.7% and 1.3% respectively during the this period.
批改:你准确地提取并对比了核心数据,清晰地呈现了主要趋势的变化。主要的提升点在于确保名词所有格、动词时态和词性的准确使用
原文:s foe the depicted phenomenon can be summerized as folowes. To start with, as the saying goes, “On life"s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, university students are compelled to immense pressure of looking for a job, and as a result, starting a business and further education has emerged as significant choices. In addition, the young generations believe that in the mordern society f
批改:存在几处拼写错误:“foe” (for), “summerized” (summarized), “folowes” (follows), “mordern” (modern), “benefical” (beneficial), “indispensible” (indispensable)。
原文:re compelled to immen
批改:“are compelled to immense pressure” 搭配不当,应为 “are compelled to face immense pressure” 或 “are under immense pressure”。
原文:tarting a busin
批改:starting a business and further education has emerged...” 中,主语是复数概念,谓语动词应用 “have emerged”。
原文:e core reasons foe the depicted phenomenon can be summerized as folowes. To start with, as the saying goes, “On life"s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, university students are compelled to immense pressure of looking for a job, and as a result, starting a business and further education has emerged as significant choices. In addition, the young generations believe that in the mordern society full of changes, challenges and chances, further education will be a benefical way for personal improvement. And starting a business is indispensible if you wish to achieve success in the long run. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
批改:原因分析段的结构很好!你从“就业压力”和“个人发展”两个层面展开,这两个角度都非常切题,体现了你的思辨能力
原文:erentage of further education and starting a business is a sign of social improvement and
批改:“perentage” 是 “percentage” 的拼写错误;“propartion” 是 “proportion” 的拼写错误。
原文:ill likely to increase
批改:“will likely to increase” 是常见错误,正确表达是 “will likely increase” 或 “is likely to increase”
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:12分
总分与总评
这篇作文较好地完成了试题规定的任务,结构清晰,逻辑连贯。但在语法结构和词汇准确性方面存在一些错误。
总评与修改建议:
这篇作文最值得称赞的地方是清晰的结构和合理的分析角度。你不仅能准确地描述数据对比,还能为数据背后的变化趋势找到贴切的原因,这种能力是图表写作的核心。
请特别关注高频词汇的拼写(如summarize, modern, beneficial, percentage)和常见语法点(如主谓一致、情态动词后接动词原形)。写作后可以快速检查这些细节。
可以尝试使用更多样的句式,比如将“are compelled to immense pressure”修正为“are under immense pressure”这类更地道的搭配。
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