历年考研英语大作文命题往往聚焦社会、经济、文化与教育等核心话题。本文精解的2013年考研英语二真题,正是考研英语写作冲刺常考方向中的代表题。透过启航老师逐段批注,可帮助考生建立稳定的写作思路。
一、2013年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2013年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chat clearly depicts the changes in part time job situations of high-school students at a certain university. In freshmen times, the percentage of students taking part-time jobs was 67.77%, but by senior times, this rate had substantially risen to 88.24%. In contrast, the proportion of students taking part-time jobs experienced a significant increase of 20.77% from freshmen times to senior times.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, As the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound part-time jobs system, enabling university students to have ample opportunities to find part-time jobs. In addition, as the saying goes, “One life’s stage, pressure is always present. ” Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront economics pressure, and as result, taking part-time jobs emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.
What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of high-school students taking part-time jobs will steadily increase in the following decades.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:The bar chat clearly depicts the changes in part time job situations of high-school students at a certain university.
批改:开门见山概述图表,可以说The bar chart clearly depicts the changes of students taking part-time jobs at a university.
原文:In freshmen times, the percentage of students taking part-time jobs was 67.77%, but by senior times, this rate had substantially risen to 88.24%
批改:这里可以说The percentage of freshmen who take part-time jobs was 67.77%, but this rate had obviously risen to 88.24% when it comes to senior students.
原文:20.77%
批改:注意数据不能出错!这里从大一新生到大四学生的兼职比例增加了20.47%
原文: from freshmen times to senior times
批改:改为from freshmen to senior students
原文:The bar chat clearly depicts the changes in part time job situations of high-school students at a certain university. In freshmen times, the percentage of students taking part-time jobs was 67.77%, but by senior times, this rate had substantially risen to 88.24%. In contrast, the proportion of students taking part-time jobs experienced a significant increase of 20.77% from freshmen times to senior times.
批改:首段概括了图表内容,描述了数据,但应准确描述图中的各项数据和它们之间的变化,多储备可替换的名词如percentage/proportion/rate和表变化的动词rise/increase,运用起来能让人眼前一亮
原文:As
批改:as不在句首,不用大写
原文:As the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound part-time jobs system, enabling university students to have ample opportunities to find part-time jobs.
批改:论述逻辑不是很恰当,可以从“就业市场竞争激烈,对毕业生的综合素质要求更高,迫使在校学生尤其是即将毕业的大四学生选择参与兼职,为提升自身竞争力做准备”这一角度展开,可以参考如下表达:Currently, more skilled labour are required in the job market due to intense competition. Therefore, many undergraduates tend to seek for part-time jobs as their foray into the job market. For one thing, it"s a good opportunity for most of them to make their career plan in the future; for another it"s also good for them to develop their skills comprehensively so as to be more competiive when they enter the job market as full-time employees.
原文:“One life’s stage, pressure is always present. ”
批改:要确保引用部分内容准确!
原文:economics
批改:这里用economic
原文: as result
批改:正确短语为as a result
原文:Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront economics pressure, and as result, taking part-time jobs emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time.
批改:文章的主干可以从”是什么(在校生更多参与兼职)——为什么?原因1:经济环境或就业压力;原因2:课业负担减轻,学校支持学生在校期间多参与社会活动或兼职;原因3:部分学生个人心理压力或出于兴趣爱好,为提高自身综合素质,提前为未来职业规划做打算”等方面展开论述
原文:high-school
批改:high school是高中,这里高校指的是高等院校用university即可
原文:What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of high-school students taking part-time jobs will steadily increase in the following decades.
批改:结尾总结,可以合理预测“兼职在未来大学生的课余活动中仍将占一定比重,未来兼职人数依旧会上升,但总体变化不会太大”
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:6/15
1)内容上:概括了图表内容,但开头图表数据描述的不全且不够准确;
2)语言上:出现部分语法错误,用词和句子结构较单一;
3)结构上:内容缺乏条理,句子之间前后缺乏逻辑联系;
4)学习建议:
- 内容上:由于文章主体的观点和论述逻辑不是很清晰,建议可以从就业市场——学校——学生等三个角度出发论述,有条理地表达自己的观点;
- 语言上:单词和语法知识要记牢,在此基础上大胆地运用被动语态、从句等为文章增色,加强语言表达的丰富性;
- 结构上:关键是要有自己的写作方向和角度,平时写作前要打草稿,训练快速构思的能力,分条列点将文章主要观点提炼出来,可以按社会——企业——个人各利益相关主体的角度论述,也可以按是什么——为什么——怎么做的逻辑逐层论述,将这些方法运用起来相信后续的训练你会有很大进步,继续加油!
很多考研英语考生都遇到过写作时思路枯竭、句式单一的问题,本文精解的2013年考研英语二范文正是突破这一瓶颈的优质范本。启航教育写作主讲会针对考研英语二常考话题逐一拆解,让考研英语写作冲刺写作变得有迹可循。
【28考研辅导课程推荐】:28考研集训课程,VIP领学计划,28考研VIP全科定制套餐(公共课VIP+专业课1对1) , 这些课程中都会配有内部讲义以及辅导书和资料,同时会有教研教辅双师模式对大家进行教学以及督学,并配有24小时答疑和模拟测试等,可直接咨询在线客服老师领取大额优惠券。
热门下载
资料下载
院校解析
真题解析
考研数学
考研英语
考研政治
考研备考