启航教育在考研英语写作教学中反复强调:词汇与句式的高级化是考研英语作文高分的关键。本文整理的2011年考研英语二批改范例,几乎每一段都包含高分替换词与衔接词,是考研英语二作文模板写作锦囊中的代表性范文。
一、2011年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)
二、2011年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts the changes of market share of certain brands in domestic car market during the year of 2008 and 2009. In 2008, the percentage of the Chinese brand was approximately 25%, but by 2009, this figure had gradually risen to around 32%. Meanwhile, the proportion of the Japanese brand experienced a significant decline of about 10% during the same period. Simultaneously, the percentage of the American brand remained stable and steady.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of Chinese cars, people are no longer chase the foreign cars, but would like to support domestic cars. In addition, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to support domestic companies to invent cars.
What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of Chinese brands will steadily increase in the following decades. Meanwhile, the proportion of foreign brands will likely to decrease.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:of
批改:与 "change" 搭配的介词是 "in",用来表示“...方面的变化”
原文:during the year of 2008 and 2009
批改:此处表达很冗余,改为 from 2008 to 2009
原文:market share
批改:指具体份额时, market share 是可数名词,可数名词单数形式不能单独存在,改为 market shares
原文:the Chinese brand
批改:此处重点是汽车的占比,不是品牌的占比,改为 domestic cars
原文:the Japanese brand
批改:改为 Japanese cars
原文: the American brand
批改:改为 American cars
批改:开头段表达不错,清晰地阐述了图表内容
批改:语法正确
批改:表达不错,但是内容要更充分具体一点,从篇幅上看,第二段原因的分析是重点,要比第一段篇幅长
原文:brands
批改:改为 cars
原文: brands
批改:改为 cars
批改:结尾段内容表达不错
原文:are
批改:一个句子中不能同时存在两个谓语动词("are" 和 "chase"),此处删去 are
原文: invent
批改:改为 develop 研发,这是描述汽车产业技术升级最恰当的词汇。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11分/ 15分
题目要求:总体上来说是切题的,表明的个人观点与图表的内容是贴合的
语言表达:存在几处语法问题,词汇表达不错,一些句式表达也很好
结构逻辑:文章的结构完整清晰,内容也比较丰富具体
修改建议:语法和细节表达问题结合作文批注仔细修改,要细心。之后可以多积累素材,自己多练练句子,进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备,提高自己的语言表达,建议多用自己的话来写,总的来说写的不错,加油!
对每一位2027考研人而言,考研英语二作文模板都是冲刺阶段必须攻克的难关。启航教育陪伴一届又一届学子走向考研英语写作高分,本文精解的2011年考研英语二范文正是经典参考之一。欢迎关注启航教育,了解更多考研英语备考干货。
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