本文将启航教育一对一批改过的2023年考研英语一高分范文进行公开呈现。批改老师对文中每一个失分细节进行了精确标注,对照考研英语写作模板热点话题与评分细则,你可以快速了解考研英语写作的提分方向。
一、考研英语一2023年大作文题目
考研英语一2023年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay based on the picture below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2023年大作文批改例文
As shown in the picture,there are viewers,viewing dragon boat race,while there is a old man and a old women talking about the dragon boat race.is very lively.Evidently,the picture intends to convey to readers that it is dragon boat race that plays an important and positive role in our personal lives and in society.
First and foremost,while ceratin Chinese traditions may be outdated,the spirit of integrity is one that should never lose its luster, as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving .On the on hand,the dragon boat race embodies China’s profound and diverse ancient culture and provides a fascinating glimpse into the country’s rich history.
In brief,the Chinese traditional race is the catalyst for society and personal development,from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore,we should actively promote and carry forward traditional culture.Only by doing so can we make our world shine with renewed brilliance.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:women
批改:单数woman
批改:一句话不能有两个谓语,加which引导定语从句
原文:As shown in the picture,there are viewers,viewing dragon boat race,while there is a old man and a old women talking about the dragon boat race.is very lively.Evidently,the picture intends to convey to readers that it is dragon boat race that plays an important and positive role in our personal lives and in society.
批改:能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象,并能够直接点明作文的主题。
原文:integrity
批改:和作文主题无关,
原文:on
批改:one
原文:First and foremost,while ceratin Chinese traditions may be outdated,the spirit of integrity is one that should never lose its luster, as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving .On the on hand,the dragon boat race embodies China’s profound and diverse ancient culture and provides a fascinating glimpse into the country’s rich history.
批改:注意论述内容与作文主题相关。
原文:race
批改:dragon boat race
原文:society
批改:改成形容词societal
原文:In brief,the Chinese traditional race is the catalyst for society and personal development,from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore,we should actively promote and carry forward traditional culture.Only by doing so can we make our world shine with renewed brilliance.
批改:起到了呼吁和号召的作用,紧扣主题,语言连贯完整。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:14/20
内容切题,全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面,注意避免拼写错误以及固定短语使用正确以及区分词性的用法;句式方面,句子结构完整连贯;语法方面,注意一句话只能有一个谓语。逻辑结构清晰完整,能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子,结构清晰。
修改建议:可以看出作文完成的非常认真,如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节问题会更好,还要注意论述内容与作文主题相符。继续加油。
读懂范文只是第一步,写出高分作文才是关键。启航教育提供考研英语作文免费批改服务,由资深讲师逐句点评,让你清晰掌握考研英语写作模板写作锦囊的核心要点。2027考研英语备考,从一篇专业批改开始。
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