作为考研英语备考的核心模块,2010年考研英语一大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文,紧扣考研英语一真题常见话题,由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改,详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点,是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。
一、考研英语一2010年大作文题目
考研英语一2010年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2010年大作文批改例文
As shown in the picture,there is a cultural hot pot with various culture ,such as Gongfu,Beijing Opera and enligtening.Evidently, the picture intended to convey to readers that it is a cultural hot pot that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
This phenomenon is though-providing in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.First and foremost,while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated,the culture is one that should never lose its luster,as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving.What is more,the cultural hot pot can nurture our souls,and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment,this making life rewarding and meaning,rather than being self-consuming.
In brief,the cultural hot pot is the catalyst for societal and personal development ,from which we all stand to benefit.Therefore, we should actively promote and carry forward traditional culture.Only by doing so can we build a more harmonious society and make our world shine with renewed brilliance.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:Gongfu
批改:kongfu
原文:enligtening
批改:改成名词enlightenment
原文:intended
批改:一般现在时intends
原文:a cultural hot pot
批改:应该选取图片背后体现的真实意义的词汇作为作文的关键词,比如excellent culture
原文:As shown in the picture,there is a cultural hot pot with various culture ,such as Gongfu,Beijing Opera and enligtening.Evidently, the picture intended to convey to readers that it is a cultural hot pot that plays an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.
批改:能够完整描述出图画中的内容,注意避免小的语言错误。
原文:though-providing
批改:thought-provoking
批改:加excellent
原文:cultural hot pot
批改:改成主题词:excellent culture
原文:this
批改:thus
原文:meaning
批改:meaningful是形容词
原文:This phenomenon is though-providing in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.First and foremost,while certain Chinese traditions may be outdated,the culture is one that should never lose its luster,as it is an essential bond that keeps the Chinese nation thriving.What is more,the cultural hot pot can nurture our souls,and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment,this making life rewarding and meaning,rather than being self-consuming.
批改:论述的内容较为全面,运用逻辑关系词使得句与句之间衔接较为紧密。
原文:the cultural hot pot
批改:excellent culture
原文:In brief,the cultural hot pot is the catalyst for societal and personal development ,from which we all stand to benefit.Therefore, we should actively promote and carry forward traditional culture.Only by doing so can we build a more harmonious society and make our world shine with renewed brilliance.
批改:能够提出自己的建议,起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:13/20
内容切题,准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面,注意避免拼写错误,要正确区分词性;句式方面,句子结构完整连贯;语法方面,注意时态的正确选取。逻辑结构清晰完整,论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子,结构清晰。
修改建议:可以看出作文完成的比较认真,无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰,值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好,还要注意作文主题词的恰当选取。继续加油。
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