2021年考研英语二大作文失分点批改

本文精选了一篇得分13分以上的2021年考研英语二大作文高分范例，并附启航老师对该范文的逐句批改。文中清晰展示了考研英语写作锦囊评分细则中关于语法多样性、词汇丰富度与逻辑连贯性的得分技巧，是考研英语学习的高价值内容。

一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the way of sports and exercise among residents in a certain city. Exercising alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercise with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, factors such as exercise with family and sports together are also considered, accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%, respectively.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of change, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound fundamental facility system, enabling city residents to have ample facilities for further physical health. In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people’s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started paying more attention to health alone. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately

and truthfully reflect the choices of city residents , serving as a microcosm of the changes in

the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：the way of sports and exercise

批改：此处表达的是多种锻炼方式的占比，改为 different ways of physical exercise 更正式精确

原文：sports together

批改：团体活动 可直接写为名词短语 group activities

批改：开头段表达不错，清晰地阐述了图表内容

批改：语法正确

原文：change

批改：可数名词单数形式不能单独存在，改为 changes

批改：语法正确

原文：alone

批改：此处的 alone 和 health 搭配很奇怪，删去

批改：此处是静态图，在分析原因时，我们多选择占比最大的一至两个元素进行剖析。其中，独自锻炼占比 54.3%，必须进行原因分析。此外，我们还可以从和朋友一起或和家人一起的角度进行分析。这段只是分析了为什么人们要锻炼，对于图表中的元素并没有进行分析，和图表关系不大。

原文：decades

批改：结尾段内容表达很好，也很具体

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：11分/ 15分

题目要求：总体上来说是切题的，表明的个人观点与图表的内容是贴合的

语言表达：存在几处语法问题，词汇表达不错，一些句式表达也很好

结构逻辑：文章的结构完整清晰，内容也比较丰富具体，但是中间段只是分析了为什么人们要锻炼，对于图表中的元素并没有进行分析，和图表关系不大。

修改建议：1. 语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改，要细心 2. 内容表达一定要和图表中的元素紧密结合，之后可以多积累素材，自己多练练句子，进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备，提高自己的表达，加油！

本文精解的2021年考研英语二范文，在启航教育AI智能批改系统中拿到了高分评价。快速揪出失分点，对着薄弱点学提升更快，是考研英语写作锦囊备考的贴心帮手。扫码预约，免费体验考研英语作文AI智能批改。