启航教育作为考研英语培训领域的知名品牌,每年都会整理发布当年的启航考研英语高分范文。本文呈现的2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文中,每一处失分点都已被老师精准订正,是2027考生不可错过的写作资料。
一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly displays the percentage of different ways of physical exercise among the residents in a certain city .Exercising alone takes the lead at 54.3%,followed by exercising with friends at 47.7%.Additionally,ways such exercising with family members and company activities are also considered ,accounting for 23.9%and 15.8%,respectively .
The core rensons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows .To start with,as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes ,our government had made tremendous efforts to build many playgrounds and parks ,enabling residents to exercise with their friends and family members .In addition ,as we all know,the outbreak COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives ,significantly altering people’s behaviors and choices .Consequently ,an increasing number of individuals are choosing to exercise alone.
What about future trends ?I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of residents ,serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era,and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades .
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:such
批改:结构不完整,such 后应加 as,即 such as exercising...
原文:y .
批改:本段准确地描述了图表的核心数据,清晰地呈现了四种锻炼方式的占比排名。语言流畅,结构工整,出色地完成了图表描述的任务。仅有个别介词和格式细节可以修正。
原文:The core rensons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows .To start with,as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes ,our government had made tremendous efforts to build many playgrounds and parks ,enabling residents to exercise with their friends and family members .In addition ,as we all know,the outbreak COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives ,significantly altering people’s behaviors and choices .Consequently ,an increasing number of individuals are choosing to exercise alone
批改:① 拼写错误,“rensons” 应为 “reasons”;② 语法与表达错误,“had made” 时态错误,应为 “has made”(政府建场地是持续到现在的动作,用现在完成时);“the outbreak COVID-19” 应为 “the outbreak of COVID-19”(缺少介词 “of”);③ 逻辑衔接可优化,“enabling residents to exercise with their friends and family members” 与 “独自锻炼占比最高” 的核心数据关联较弱,可补充 “但疫情后人们更注重个人空间,因此独自锻炼成为主流”,使原因与数据更契合。
批改:本段是文章核心,尝试从两个角度分析现象。第二个理由(疫情)切题且有力。然而,第一个理由虽然语言出彩,但存在时态错误。论证的逻辑链条可以更紧密。
批改:本段有效地总结了全文并对未来趋势做出了合理预测,结尾有力。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:11分(满分 15 分)。
这篇作文完整完成了考研英语二大作文 “解读图表” 和 “给出评论” 的两大核心任务,整体表现较好。图表解读部分准确呈现了各类锻炼方式的占比,数据清晰;原因分析部分搭建了 “政府支持 + 疫情影响” 的逻辑框架,贴合现实背景;结尾对未来趋势做出预测,结构完整。语言表达上,能够运用 “followed by”“accounting for”“consequently” 等衔接词和复杂句式,体现了一定的语言积累。但仍存在细节问题:词汇层面有拼写错误和介词缺失;部分原因与核心数据的关联性可进一步加强。综合来看,这是一篇符合考研英语二大作文要求的较好习作,若能针对性修正细节错误,优化表达的简洁性与逻辑契合度,分数可进一步提升1-3 分左右。
优化后的参考版本(保持原文核心逻辑,修正错误并提升流畅度)
The bar chart clearly displays the percentages of different physical exercise methods among residents in a certain city. Exercising alone takes the lead at 54.3%, followed by exercising with friends at 47.7%. Additionally, ways such as exercising with family members and group activities account for 23.9% and 15.8% respectively.
Several factors contribute to this phenomenon. To start with, the government has made tremendous efforts to build more playgrounds and parks, providing convenient conditions for residents to exercise with friends or family. In addition, the outbreak of COVID-19 has significantly altered people’s lifestyles. Many now prefer solo exercise to avoid crowds, which explains why it has become the most popular choice.
Regarding future trends, I believe these statistical figures truthfully reflect residents’ diverse exercise needs and will remain relatively stable in the coming years. As people continue to value health, a variety of exercise methods will coexist, catering to different preferences. Overall, the trend highlights the changing lifestyle and health awareness of modern residents.
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