2015年考研英语二大作文的评分标准严格,对图表描述、主题提炼与观点阐述三大能力均有考查。本文精选的这篇高分批改范例,全程贯彻考研英语二写作冲刺写作锦囊的核心要点,可作为考研英语写作的标杆范文。
一、2015年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2015年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)
二、2015年考研英语二大作文批改例文
2015年(大作文)
The pie chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the expenses during the Spring Festival for the residents in the certain city of our country.The Spring Festival gifts takes the lead at 40%,followed by transport at 20%. Additionally, factors such as going out for eating and so on are also considered.accounting for 20% and 20% respectively.
The core reason for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. As the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made tremendous efforts to build a sound transport system, enabling the residents to have ample opportunities for meeting friends during the Spring Festival.As well all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started playing more attention to health so that they choose
to stay at home and give the Spring Festival gifts rather than go out for eating.
Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurpring.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:n the certain
批改:语法错误:这里是不定指,应使用 a certain city。
原文:he Spring Festiva
批改:主谓不一致:主语 gifts 是复数,谓语动词 takes 应改为 take。 表达冗余:The Spring Festival gifts 略显重复,更地道的表达是 New Year"s gifts 或 Gift purchases。
原文:dditionally, factors such as going out for eating and so on are also considered.accounting for 20% and 20% respectivel
批改:用词与标点问题: going out for eating 过于口语化,dining out 或 dining gatherings 更正式。 and so on(等等)在图表描述中应避免,需要明确列出所有类别。 句号误用:considered.accounting 中间应为逗号。 逻辑错误:respectively 用于说明多个项目与多个数据的对应关系。这里列出两个项目(外出就餐和其他),却对应两个20%,会让人误解为各占20%,但这与饼图常识(三项各占20%)不符。
原文: pie chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the expenses during the Spring Festival for the residents in the certain city of our country.The Spring Festival gifts takes the lead at 40%,followed by transport at 20%. Additionally, factors such as going out for eating and so on are also considered.accounting for 20% and 20% respectively.
批改:本段成功抓住了核心数据。主要问题在于语法细节、用词的专业性以及数据描述的精确性。图表描述需要力求客观和准确,避免任何可能引起歧义的表达。
原文:As well all know,
批改:拼写错误:As well all know 应为 As we all know。
原文:g more attentio
批改:搭配错误:固定搭配是 paying attention to,不是 playing。
原文:o that they choose to stay at home and give
批改:严重逻辑矛盾:这是本段最核心的问题。你试图用新冠疫情来解释图表现象,但得出的结论是“人们更倾向于待在家里送礼而不是外出就餐”。然而,图表数据显示,“外出就餐”和“礼物”都是主要开支。你的论证方向与数据呈现的事实完全相反,形成了一个逻辑上的矛盾,这会严重失分。
原文: unsurpring
批改:unsurpring 应为 unsurprising。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:8分
总评:
同学,这篇作文的核心问题在于第二个论点与图表数据发生了直接的逻辑冲突,这比语法错误更严重。这说明在提出任何一个理由时,我们都要反复审视它是否与数据揭示的事实一致。
修改建议:
论点必须支持数据:这是最重要的原则。在确定论点后,请检查其逻辑结论是否与图表趋势一致。像新冠疫情这样的因素,如果需要使用,应解释为何在健康关注提升后,“礼物”和“聚餐”开支依然很高(例如,人们更珍惜线下团聚,或通过更高质量的聚餐和礼物来表达情感),而不是用来解释此消彼长。
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