启航教育考研英语教研组精心筛选了2014年考研英语二大作文真题原文及高分批改范例。本篇范文中,老师对每一句都给出修改建议,是考研英语二写作技巧备考资料库中的精品,特别推荐给参加2027考研的学子。
一、2014年考研英语二大作文题目
考研英语二2014年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.
二、2014年考研英语二大作文批改例文
The bar chart clearly depicts the changes in urban and rural populations in China during 20 years.In 1990,the number of urban populations was 300 million,but by 2010,this figure had substantially risen 666 million.In contrast,the number of rural populations experienced a significant dexline of 160 million during the same period.
The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.To start with,as the saying goes,"On life"s stage,pressure is always present."Nowdays,rural people are compelled to confront immense employment pressure,and as aresult,watching movies ti cities has emerged as their as their significant choice for atilizing leisure time.In addition,Chinese society is undergoing an extensive phenomenon is the significant progress made by China"s urban constraction in responding to these changes.Considering these factors,the depicted phenomenon in the chart in unsurprising.
What about future trends?I am confident that the number of urban populations will steaily in crease in the following decades.In contrast,the number of rural populatons will likely continue to decrease.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:he number of urban populations
批改:the number of urban populations:这是核心术语错误。population(人口)作为集合概念,不应加s,也无需用number of修饰。地道的表达是 the urban population 和 the rural population。
原文: risen 666 million
批改:risen 666 million:缺少介词 to,应为 risen to 666 million
原文:dexline of
批改:dexline:拼写错误,应为 decline
原文:he bar chart clearly depicts the changes in urban and rural populations in China during 20 years.In 1990,the number of urban populations was 300 million,but by 2010,this figure had substantially risen 666 million.In contrast,the number of rural populations experienced a significant dexline of 160 million during the same period.
批改:准确地抓住了城乡人口变化的对比趋势,并正确使用了单位
原文:"Nowdays
批改:Nowdays:拼写错误,应为 Nowadays
原文: as aresult
批改:as aresult:应分开为 as a result
原文:ng movies ti cities
批改:watching movies ti cities:此部分存在乱码且表意完全错误,与主题“人口城市化”无关
原文:as their as their
批改:as their as their:重复表达。
原文:atilizing l
批改:atilizing:拼写错误,应为 utilizing。
原文:,Chinese society is underg
批改:Chinese society is undergoing an extensive phenomenon is the significant progress...:这是严重的句式杂糅,一个句子出现两个谓语动词 is undergoing 和 is,导致句子破碎,意思不清。
原文:constraction
批改:constraction:拼写错误,应为 construction
原文:in unsurprisi
批改:in unsurprising:拼写错误,应为 is unsurprising
原文:e core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.To start with,as the saying goes,"On life"s stage,pressure is always present."Nowdays,rural people are compelled to confront immense employment pressure,and as aresult,watching movies ti cities has emerged as their as their significant choice for atilizing leisure time.In addition,Chinese society is undergoing an extensive phenomenon is the significant progress made by China"s urban constraction in responding to these changes.Considering these factors,the depicted phenomenon in the chart in unsurprising.
批改:论证有些偏离:本段未能提供任何有效的原因分析。第一个原因(关于压力与看电影)与图表主题“人口从农村迁往城市”毫无逻辑关联。第二个原因句子结构破碎,无法传递有效信息。
原文:e number of urban popula
批改:the number of urban populations:同上,应为 the urban population
原文: steaily in crease
批改:steaily in crease:两处拼写错误,应为 steadily increase
原文:populatons
批改:populatons:拼写错误,应为 populations(尽管更推荐用 rural population)
原文:e core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.To start with,as the saying goes,"On life"s stage,pressure is always present."Nowdays,rural people are compelled to confront immense employment pressure,and as aresult,watching movies ti cities has emerged as their as their significant choice for atilizing leisure time.In addition,Chinese society is undergoing an extensive phenomenon is the significant progress made by China"s urban constraction in responding to these changes.Considering these factors,the depicted phenomenon in the chart in unsurprisin
批改:修改方向示例(重塑第二段): The core reasons for this trend can be summarized as follows. To start with, cities offer more job opportunities and higher salaries, which attract young people from the countryside. In addition, urban areas provide better public services, such as education and healthcare, encouraging entire families to relocate.
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:7分
一、结构方面:论证必须紧扣主题
审题是关键:动笔前,务必明确图表现象是什么。本文是“农村人口进城,城市人口增加”,那么所有原因都必须围绕人口迁移的动机展开。
建立正确的论证思维:针对城镇化,你可以思考:
推力:农村就业机会少、收入低、公共服务不足。
拉力:城市有更多工作、更高收入、更好教育和医疗资源。
放弃无效套用:不要强行将记忆中的模板句(如关于压力、看电影)套用到不相关的主题上,这会导致文章彻底偏题。
二、语言方面:回归基础,精准第一
重抓核心术语:请立即巩固 urban population 和 rural population 这两个词组,确保在任何情况下都不会再错。
重抓句子主干:在写出正确的主谓宾简单句之前,暂停使用任何复杂句式。确保每个句子都意思完整、清晰。
重抓高频拼写:集中攻克如 government, development, significant, increase 等在你作文中反复出现的词汇。
考研英语二写作技巧写作提分高效的方式,是让经验丰富的老师亲自批改你的作文。启航教育2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班,主讲斌哥亲批每一份学员作业,真题作业批改、轻松应对各种复杂题目,让考研英语写作更有底。
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