本文将启航教育一对一批改过的2016年考研英语一高分范文进行公开呈现。批改老师对文中每一个失分细节进行了精确标注,对照考研英语作文批改热点话题与评分细则,你可以快速了解考研英语写作的提分方向。
一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目
考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文
In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father, watching TV and asking his son to study. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, the father and son study hard together. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that the good behavior of parents is the brush that paints a bright future for children, while the bad behavior is the shackle that hinders their progress.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, the good behaviour of parents holds exceptional significant for children, as it serves as a crucial cornerstone for nurturing children"s souls, further promoting personal growth and self-fulfillment. On the other hand, the bad behaviour of parents is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.
In brief, the good behaviour of parents is catalyst for societal and personal development, from which the children all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this behaviour; additionally, we must be a acutely aware of the detrimental effects of the bad behaviour to ensure our growth stays on course.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:significant
批改:exceptional是形容词,但后面应该接名词。significant是形容词,正确的名词形式是 significance
原文:a
批改:多余,删除,短语 be aware of
原文:catalyst
批改:catalyst 前面使用定冠词 the表意更精准、更符合英语习惯。
原文:In brief, the good behaviour of parents is catalyst for societal and personal development, from which the children all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this behaviour; additionally, we must be a acutely aware of the detrimental effects of the bad behaviour to ensure our growth stays on course.
批改:这段话写得非常棒,观点清晰有力
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:18/20
从结构层面看,本文脉络清晰,三段式写作,开头清楚表明图片,中间进行分析,最后做出总结。
从内容层面看,第二段内容分析得当,从树立榜样与形成负面示范分别会给孩子带来怎样的影响。
从语言层面看,语法运用上有小错误,比如某处缺少的句子成分是什么词性,定冠词/不定冠词的用法,之后要注意语法细节。
读懂范文只是第一步,写出高分作文才是关键。启航教育提供考研英语作文免费批改服务,由资深讲师逐句点评,让你清晰掌握考研英语作文批改写作锦囊的核心要点。2027考研英语备考,从一篇专业批改开始。
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