想在短时间内显著提升考研英语写作分数?研读高分范文并接受专业批改是高效的路径。本文整理的2011年考研英语一批改范例,从图表描述、原因分析到建议评论,每一段都渗透着考研英语写作锦囊热点话题的得分要点。
一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目
考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文
年月日第周星期
第 课第 节(共节)
As shown in the cartoon, there are two tourists are throwing rubbish in to the river while they are enjoying scenery. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is environmental pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and society.
This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, neglecting environmental pollution is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation"s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international image. What is more, tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of economic interests, have disregarded the virtue of environmental protection.
How can we put an end to the problem of environmental pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issue related laws and enhance punishment. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to help students cultivate more rational values .With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:are
批改:前面有一个谓语are了,去掉
原文:in to
批改:是连在一起的into
原文:it is
批改:根据后面的句子来看,这句话不需要写强调句,去掉
原文:As shown in the cartoon, there are two tourists are throwing rubbish in to the river while they are enjoying scenery. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that it is environmental pollution is an issue that requires great attention both in our personal lives and society.
批改:对图画中的细节描述的很全面,但是要避免语言错误。
原文:This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, neglecting environmental pollution is like a heavy chain that hinders our nation"s progress, not only hindering its ability to maintain healthy and rapid growth, but also significantly affecting its international image. What is more, tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulations might contribute to this phenomenon, its root cause lies in the fact that some individuals, in their pursuit of economic interests, have disregarded the virtue of environmental protection.
批改:该段落能够将图画背后蕴含的真实意义加以阐述,语言衔接连贯。能够运用逻辑关系词来连接句子,值得表扬。
原文:issue
批改:including是介词,改成issuing
原文:enhance
批改:enhancing
原文:How can we put an end to the problem of environmental pollution? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including issue related laws and enhance punishment. But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to help students cultivate more rational values .With the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.
批改:能够提出自己的建议,起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:15/20
内容切题,准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面,单词掌握的较好;句式方面和语法方面,注意主谓一致问题,以及强调句的正确应用,介词后加动词ing形式。逻辑结构清晰完整,论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子,结构清晰。
修改建议:可以看出作文完成的非常认真,无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰,值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节性错误会更好。继续加油。
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