考研英语一写作冲刺每年的命题都会折射出当年的社会热点。本文呈现的2010年考研英语一批改范例,从生活实际出发,紧扣命题意图。启航教育老师在批注中详细指出了图(表)描述、原因分析与建议评论的合理答题节奏。
一、考研英语一2010年大作文题目
考研英语一2010年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and 3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)
二、考研英语一2010年大作文批改例文
52. An extraordinary and meaningful drawing unfolds before our eyes: culture. In the foreground, integration of cultural diversity is portrayed as hotpot, a powerful metaphor for the integration of various cultures. Below the image, a caption is prominently displayed, which can be interpreted as follows: "Cultural hot pot is both delicious and nutritious."
While seemingly simplistic at first glance, this illustration conveys a profound message that resonates deeply with contemprary society : cultural integration. The primary impetus behind this phenomenon stems from socioeconmic factors. As the renowned philosopher Francis Bacon once remarked, "knowledge is power." In an era doiminated by material pursuits, this "power" often manifests as finacial motivation, leading to cultural exchange and fusion. Furthermore, culturally, accelerating integration has cultivated essential virtues like patriotism and diligence, which are the bedrock of a healthy society. Ultimately, pursuing to learn various cultures can be a rewarding and enriching experience that forters personal growth and development. According to the data published by the National Bureau of statistics of China (NBS), 83% of people, appreximately, do cultural exchange.
In a nutshell, learning all kinds of cultures is more than a personal virtue; it is the bedrock of social progress. The path forward demands courage to overcome the internal enemies: resist foreign culture. For life"s duration lies beyond our control, but its depth is forever shaped by our choices.
三、考研英语作文批改
原文:An extraordinary and meaningful drawing unfolds before our eyes: culture.
批改:开头比较有新意
原文:In the foreground, integration of cultural diversity is portrayed as hotpot, a powerful metaphor for the integration of various cultures.
批改:较好地描述了图画内容,将文化多样性融合比喻成火锅,形象生动
原文:Below the image, a caption is prominently displayed, which can be interpreted as follows: "Cultural hot pot is both delicious and nutritious."
批改:准确说明了图画下方的文字内容,并给出了合理的解释
原文:While seemingly simplistic at first glance, this illustration conveys a profound message that resonates deeply with contemprary society : cultural integration.
批改:指出图画看似简单却蕴含深刻意义,与当代社会的文化融合主题相呼应,但“contemprary”拼写错误。修正拼写错误为“contemporary”。
原文:he primary impetus behind this phenomenon stems from socioeconmic factors.
批改:阐述了文化融合现象的主要推动力来自社会经济因素,观点合理
原文:s the renowned philosopher Francis Bacon once remarked, "knowledge is power."
批改:引用名言增加观点的可信度和文化底蕴,引用恰当。
原文:In an era doiminated by material pursuits, this "power" often manifests as finacial motivation, leading to cultural exchange and fusion.
批改:说明在物质追求主导的时代,知识的“力量”表现为经济动机,进而导致文化交流与融合,逻辑较清晰,但“doiminated”和“finacial”拼写错误。修正拼写错误为“dominated”和“financial”。
原文:Furthermore, culturally, accelerating integration has cultivated essential virtues like patriotism and diligence, which are the bedrock of a healthy society.
批改:从文化层面阐述文化融合培育了爱国和勤奋等美德,是健康社会的基石,观点有一定深度。
原文:Ultimately, pursuing to learn various cultures can be a rewarding and enriching experience that forters personal growth and development.
批改:指出学习各种文化对个人成长有益,但“pursuing to learn”表述有误,“forters”拼写错误。改为“Pursuing the learning of various cultures” ,修正“forters”为“fosters”。
原文:According to the data published by the National Bureau of statistics of China (NBS), 83% of people, appreximately, do cultural exchange.
批改:引用数据增强观点说服力,但“appreximately”拼写错误。
原文:n a nutshell, learning all kinds of cultures is more than a personal virtue; it is the bedrock of social progress.
批改:总结学习各种文化不仅是个人美德,更是社会进步的基石,观点明确。
原文:The path forward demands courage to overcome the internal enemies: resist foreign culture.
批改:没有语法问题
原文:For life"s duration lies beyond our control, but its depth is forever shaped by our choices.
批改:表示正确
四、考研英语作文评分
得分:12/20
题目要求:文章整体围绕给定图画展开写作,完成了题目要求的三个关键任务。开篇对图画进行了描述,指出画面将文化多样性融合呈现为火锅这一形象,并说明了图画下方的文字内容;中间部分对图画所传达的文化融合这一意图进行了深入解释,阐述了文化融合的原因、影响等;结尾给出了自己对于学习多种文化的看法,符合题目要求。
语言表达:使用了一些较为高级的词汇,如“extraordinary”“profound”“impetus”“resonates”等,展现出了一定的词汇量,使文章在表达上更具文采。引用了弗朗西斯·培根“knowledge is power”的名言,增加了文章的文化底蕴和说服力。文中出现了“contemprary”“socioeconmic”“doiminated”“finacial”“forters”“appreximately”等多处拼写错误,这些错误严重影响了语言的准确性.
内容层面:文章紧扣文化融合这一主题展开论述,从图画的描述到对文化融合意义和原因的分析,再到强调学习多种文化的重要性,始终围绕核心主题,没有出现偏题的情况。
修改建议:学习并掌握正确的英语表达方式,避免出现类似“pursuing to learn”这样的错误表述。同时,要注意句子之间的过渡和衔接,使用一些连接词或短语,如“furthermore”“moreover”“in addition”等,使文章更加连贯流畅。加油!
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